Sunday, 16 March 2014 22:51
Season 2, Episode 1
Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)
Last Season On Total Divas: People yelled at each other. Brie Bella and Bryan Danielson got engaged. Nikki Bella and John Cena did not. Occasionally we had pro wrestling on the show. Usually we didn't. JoJo had a boyfriend, then didn't. She was on the show, and then she disappeared. Nobody really noticed.
Eva Marie Got Married: She and Jonathan eloped. The Divas remark how smart Jonathan was locking Eva down, but also that Eva's dumb because her parents will be mad that she got married without (a) inviting them or (b) telling them. Eva's parents come to visit, and instead of coming clean, they literally try to hide Jonathan's stuff and pretend that they're not married for a week. Trinity tells Eva to tell her family the truth. It goes almost as poorly as last season's episode where (when they were already engaged) Jonathan tried to get permission to marry her. They visit her family back at their hotel, and get into another circular argument about respecting the family. Nothing is settled.
Brie & Bryan Danielson Are Engaged: They go shopping with Nikki at the place they're registered, a little boutique place in Seattle that Nikki doesn't like and then leaves. Instead of fighting about it later, Nikki apologizes to Brie for leaving their shopping trip, as she's bummed out. Other than this brief appearance, Bryan's barely on the show this week.
Nikki & John Cena Are On A Break: John doesn't want to get married, so they're “separated” and Nikki's living with her mom in her condo in San Diego. Which her mom is selling, so Nikki's not sure where she's gonna live. In addition, she's jealous of everyone else being married or engaged. Everyone's getting married but her. And she has to see John at work! They should've played sad violin music in the background of every scene she was in this week. Late in the episode, John invites Nikki to meet him (as he flew out to see her). They meet on the pier and the cliffhanger is Nikki stating, “Well, I'm here.” Will our star-crossed lovers get back together? (Yes, probably.)
Summer Rae Is On The Show Now: She's travel partners with Eva Marie, and she and Eva are also gonna watch each other's backs. But all the other girls hate her. But Nattie at least admits that she's a decent worker.
MVP: Eva Marie's Dad, Barry, who spends the entire episode staring people down and judging them.
MIA: Ariane and Naomi, the Funkadactyls, are barely in the episode. Ariane got mad at Nattie for grinding up on Vinny at the Bellas birthday party, Naomi gave Eva some advice but was otherwise absent from the show.