Total Divas TV report

Season 2, Episode 3

Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)

Disaster Bus: Jon & Naomi have sex on the bus, Nattie poops on the bus, everyone makes noise so Bryan can't sleep. (To be fair, Brie and Bryan are super-diplomatic about calling Jon & Trinity out about the bus-sex). Bryan vows not to get a bus again.

Nobody Likes Summer: This week, Brie yells at Summer for talking about rumours that Summer slept with somebody in the company with Bryan. Nattie and Summer are super-catty at each other when Mattel stops by to drop off the new action figures. Nattie bitches to Fandango about Summer, leading to Summer visiting Nattie at her house and them having a screaming match. And then a shoving match, punctuated by Summer slapping her in her face.

Bryan deconstructs Ariane's song lyrics: The best scene ever. Everyone sits around the bus, reciting the lyrics to “Girl Bye” and teasing Ariane about how bizarre the message she's sending is. This comes after she complains that the bus isn't fun or exciting, so it is doubly-funny.

Bryan Gets a Concussion: Legit concussion, legit sent home. The Usos feel bad.

MVP: The Bellas. With Cena AWOL and Bryan concussed, Brie and Nikki Bella served as the voices of reason. I'm scared, too.

MIA: John Cena; mentioned but never seen.

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