Monday, 12 May 2014 14:20
Before I get started, I invite all of you to tune into the first ever episode of the Wrestling Outsiders Podcast as we discuss the show that made us fans-the 1990 Royal Rumble.
Right before NXT started, they aired a commercial whose opening line was “Are you a WWE Network subscriber?” I think they lost 137,000 of those 667,000 subscribers with that line.
In a first round match of the Paige Invitational aka the NXT Woman's Title Tournament, Charlotte pinned Emma
Emma is now the third person who is a member of the active WWE roster to be in this tournament, which was caused when JBL decided that Paige couldn't be champion because she was a member of the active WWE roster. Renee Young is rooting for Emma because Charlotte is not a nice girl. Well we can't have the mean girls if they are nice.
Except for Sasha. I just assume she is very nice. Have I lived in Massachusetts long enough to say someone is a Fellow New Englander? Anyhoo, back to the actual match, Emma pulls out her pink sock and gives an interfering Sasha the Cobra, but Charlotte with a school girl roll up, which is apparently called the Charlotte's Web, wins.
Seriously, who names their schoolgirl roll up?
Kalisto & El Local defeated The Legionnaires (Sylvester Lefort and Marcus Louie)
Sylvester Lefort has finally gotten a new fighting Legionnaire! They will make lots and lots of MONAY! Plus I have my Samurai Del Sol autographed pillow next to me for the debut of him as Kalisto. First thing I will mention to my brother on Sunday is Sami Callahan has yet to debut.
The Frenchmen get the heat on Ricardo...I mean El Local. If he wins the NXT Tag Team Titles, then who will do Spanish announcing on Raw? Louie runs into the bottom of Local's foot, so Kalisto gets the hot tag and hits a series of awesome looking flips onto the evil Frenchmen. Local even does a flip dive over the top onto Louie.
Kalisto hit a back handspring kick to the head for the win. The only problem with that is his hands never touched the mat. He literally did a front flip into the ropes, bounced back and hit his kick.
Camacho pinned Captain Comic (one of Adam Rose's posse)
This match was set up last week when Captain Comic bumped into Camacho during Camacho's promo, so Camacho knocked out Captain Comic. I would like to point out that this is now week 4 in the absurdly slow build up to Adam Rose vs Camacho. I think the fans chanted “Match of the Year” as Camacho laid Comic out 5 seconds in with a dropkick. It just went downhill for the Captain from here as Camacho picked up the medium sized win with a running Samoan Drop and the Running Power Slam.
Adam Rose was so disgusted by this, he ran to the ring and Camacho left.
Both Alicia Fox and Alexa Bliss cut promos about wanting to win. Yes, this was Bliss' debut, cutting a shitty 10 second promo.
In the first round of the Paige Invitational aka the NXT Woman's Title Tournament, Alexa Bliss pinned Alicia Fox
One-half of Foxsana is the fourth member of the main roster to be in this tournament which, again, was set up when JBL decided Paige couldn't defend the title because she was on the main roster. Alexa wears a big ass skirt to the ring, which she thankfully takes off before the match, but it does sprinkle glitter all over the ring. Renee Young tells us that she graduated from the University of Bliss with a degree in Dazzling. She's pretty, but I hate her already.
Alicia busts Alexa's mouth wide open. She is wearing the crimson mouth guard as Alicia hits all of her big moves, including the Northern Lights Suplex for a 2 count. Alexa has blue tips on her blonde hair. Alexa gets the win by going for a spinning DDT, but turning it into a small package for the three count!
Backstage, Devin interviewed Adrian Neville about the 20-Man Battle Royal where the winner faces Neville in 3 weeks at Takeover. Neville talks about how tough it is to be in a battle royal.
Tyler Breeze really won the 21-man #1 Contender's Battle Royal, but it was announced a 3-way tie with Tyson Kidd and Sami Zayn
You know I never appreciated color in my life as much as I did at WrestleMania when 27 guys in the Andre The Giant Battle Royal were wearing black trunks. For some reason, Tyson Kidd ran to the ring during Sami Zayn's entrance.
Brodus Clay stood in the corner at the bell and no one wanted to go near him. Did he not shower since his last match? Well since it was like an hour earlier, probably not. Oliver Grey, Mason Ryan and Danny Birch were all doing Loser Leaves Town Gimmicks. Curt Hawkins was in the battle royal...and eliminated second.
Order of tv eliminations were Oliver Grey, Curt Hawkins, Brodus Clay (who almost skinned the cat), Danny Birch, Aiden English, El Local, Kalisto, two nameless people, Camacho, Xavier Woods, Mojo Rawley, Jason Jordan, Baron Corbin, Yoshi Tatsu, Mason Ryan, Colin Cassidy and Bo Dallas. Bo, who won last year's battle royal to get a title shot, eliminated four guys in a row before being thrown out himself. Tyler Breeze is in his fourth match of not caring if he gets punched in the face...and for the first time he finally gets punched in the face, this time by Sami Zayn.
The finish saw Tyson and Sami both trying to skin the cat and Kidd flip Breeze over, which caused all three guys to fall and hit the ground. We are supposed to think it was simultaneous, but in reality Breeze's feet were in the air when the other two fell. Some fans caught on too, but they were drowned out by other fans.
Out came Hoarse Triple H who announced that next week there would be a Triple Threat Match between Breeze, Kidd and Sami and the winner faces Neville at Takeover.
I call shenanigans. Breeze was the rightful winner, but what can you do? Until later this week, remember to say your vitamins and take your prayers!