WWE Memorial Day Raw
May 26, 2014
Noteworthy: Brad Maddox was fired. The Shield and Evolution brawled. Alicia Fox went nuts. JBL got beat up. The crowd was completely dead. Torito lost his tail. Stephanie blackmailed Daniel Bryan.
Stephanie McMahon Fires Bradley Maddox
Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, the Authority, came to the ring to discuss tonight being all about choices. Stephanie spoke about Daniel Bryan's choice and whether he will surrender the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. She said it was a shame his body was only a B+, but they were right all along on that. Triple H then spoke about legends and those who perish, saying Evolution are legends and The Shield will perish. The 6-man tag this Sunday, if you hadn't heard, is a No Holds Barred Elimination match. Hunter said the Shield has a choice tonight, to sign the contracts and perish or walk away and live to fight another day. Stephanie then called out Brad Maddox.
Brad slowly, and nervously, walked to the ring. The Authority called him out to discuss his choice last week, which allowed Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns to sit ringside for the Rollins-Batista match last week. Maddox said he was beaten and had no choice, but Steph saw differently. She said that right now, the Authority had no choice. On that, Kane's music hit, and the masked demon stalked to the ring. Triple H punched Maddox out, and the Authority left Brad for dead with Kane standing over him. The crowd did not care about this one tiny bit. Stephanie told Kane to teach him a lesson. That lesson included a chokeslam, followed by a tombstone piledriver. Sucks to be Maddox. Stephanie concluded the segment by firing Brad Maddox.
Maddox was a Vince hire as GM, so we'll see if that plays into anything here. We've been waiting for Vince to come back forever to put his daughter in place, and it hasn't yet, so who knows.
Oh boy, tonight: Bray Wyatt has a message for the entire Cenation!
Rob Van Dam vs Cesaro
Cesaro beat RVD with a German Suplex bridged into a pin. Cesaro has a new King of Swing shirt, which plays off the old King of the Ring logos. Before the match, Bad News Barrett came out and said today was officially the first day of Summer. I have some bad news for him, as it isn't. He said RVD's summer will end with a loss to Barrett, or something. #BNB did commentary for the match, ultimately getting involved and distracting RVD enough to cost him the match. Sheamus ran in afterwards and took Cesaro out with a Brogue Kick.
They haven't told us yet that Bryan is actually here, or done any angle that shows he has arrived.
Summer Rae vs Eva Marie
This battle, thankfully, only went a minute before Fandango & Layla came to the stage and danced. Summer was so enthralled with the pair, she completely forgot about her opponent. Eva landed a roll up of sorts to pin Summer. Will Miz return to align with Summer against her former dance partner, or will Summer find a new man to assist her? Hey, Brad Maddox is free.
Backstage, Cody Rhodes & Goldust were telling Randy Orton & Batista that they are issuing an open challenge for any tag team tonight. Trash talk back and forth culminated in Triple H making Rhodes Brothers vs Orton & Batista for tonight. He also said it'd be no ordinary match.
El Torito pinned Drew McIntyre in a ridiculous and embarrassing segment. Hornswoggle pulled Torito's tail off, and the little guy ran off hurt, or sad, or whatever. Dumb, both for kids and business strategists. Drew and Heath are too good for this.
Backstage, Los Matadores were begging the WWE doctor to put Torito's tail back on. He said he couldn't, as he is not a veterinarian.
Bray Wyatt's Message to CENATION
Bray started by telling the Universe that he does have the whole world in his hands. He wants now, though, to talk with Jerry Lawler. He asked Lawler to come in the ring, but Jerry declined. Bray sent Luke and Rowan to get him, telling Cole and JBL to stand down. JBL did not take kindly to Bray's words, so Luke and Rowan took JBL out. Now, Jerry obliged and got in the ring. Rowan set up a chair in the center, and Bray told him to sit and be not afraid. He asked why Jerry Lawler keeps buying up John Cena's garbage and feeds it to the audience. He asked if Jerry feels guilty about destroying millions of lives in the corrupt name of John Cena. Of course, Bray never let Jerry answer. He then apologized for what was to come. Rowan and Luke grabbed Jerry, but John Cena ran in to make the save. He failed, however. Bray held Lawler in the corner, while Rowan and Luke made quick work of Cena. Bray said he would end Cena at Payback, but right now, he wants John to watch Jerry fall. Bray was about to give Jerry the Sister Abigail, when two children from the back ran in to make the save. Wait, sorry, those are the Usos. Who would have known. The team saved Cena and Jerry. With the Wyatts on the ramp, collecting themselves, Cena called Bray evil and said he will stop Bray at Payback.
Back from break, JBL looks to be out of commentary for the night due to the attack at the hands of the Wyatts.
Zack Ryder is Mr. America
Zack Ryder made a rare appearance in a match on Raw. He came out with the American Flag, and was about to speak when Lana's music hit. She introduced Rusev for this rare Rusev vs White Guy bout. And... it was over pretty quick, as Rusev picks up another victory via Accolade.
With Rusev failing to let go of the hold, Big E's music hit and the former IC Champion ran Rusev off. Big E then took over flag waving duties as the crowd cheered him on.
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon and Alberto Del Rio were seen talking.
Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs Batista & Randy Orton
Evolution won when Orton pinned Cody after two RKO's. On commentary, Cole said Evolution has been dying for this return match at Payback. Odd, since it was Hunter who wondered why they were even having one just two weeks ago, and it was Shield begging for it in the first place.
Justin Roberts, immediately after the pinfall, announced this match was actually an elimination match. So it was Goldust vs Batista and Orton, and Roberts said it was no holds barred. Cole reminded us of Triple's words, saying this match wouldn't be ordinary.
Goldust took a spear, RKO, then powerbomb and was finished as Evolution gets the victory.
JBL Returns! JBL was back on commentary, laughing off the attack. Jerry thanked JBL for standing up for him. JBL has to come back out to Bo-Lieve!
Bo Dallas pinned Sin Cara after the Bodog. That's the tornado bulldog. Bo thanked his Bolievers, and told them to Bolieve! He then hugged Sin Cara and left.
The Usos vs Luke Harper & Rowan is the main event tomorrow on Main Event.
The Decision 2014: Daniel Bryan Edition
With Stephanie in the ring, Daniel Bryan returned with a soft collar around his neck. Stephanie told Bryan to do the right thing for the WWE Universe, and give them a fighting champion. Bryan spoke about the years of hard work and sacrifice paying off with his World title win, but unfortunately, his neck injury is worse than first thought. Bryan said there was no shame in relinquishing the championship and taking the time to heel. Steph promised him another title shot when he's healthy. Bryan laughed at Steph saying he could go through it all over again. Bryan got in Stephanie's face, and chastised her for wanting to strip him of the title ever since WrestleMania. Bryan then said that he couldn't just hand the belts over. Chad Collyer somewhere grows more frustrated. So while there is no shame in handing the belts over, he won't do it, because that would negate the struggle and all the voices of the WWE Universe. Bryan proceeded to chant "No!" in Stephanie's face. Stephanie said she was afraid this would happen, and played a video back of Brie pushing Stephanie 2 weeks ago on Raw. She is using that as blackmail. She offered Bryan one more chance to hand the titles over, or else Brie will be fired. Bryan's new decision will take place at Payback.
Vince has to be returning at Payback. HAS TO!
Michael Cole, legit said the following: "NXT Takeover. The big match! Charlotte vs Natalya. The reason this is important? Charlotte's dad, Ric Flair will be in her corner!" Yep, it isn't important because the title or wrestlers in the title match. But rather, it is important because of Ric Flair.
Alicia Fox' best meltdown yet.
Emma pinned Alicia Fox. Alicia, by the way, is the one wrestling for the title on Sunday. Alicia threw another fit post-match, throwing Emma down by her hair and such. After throwing Emma out of the ring, Alicia told us that she "doesn't lose, okay" and she "isn't a loser." She gave a ringside attendant a wedgie, which the crowd liked. JBL begged for referees to come down, because JBL was done interfering with wrestlers.
Hornswoggle vs Torito in a Mask vs Hair match on the Payback preshow was announced.
Adam Rose vs Davy Crockett
Rose pinned Damien Sandow, who was Davy Crockett this week, after the Party Foul. Becky Lynch and Simon Gotch, among others, were back as the original entourage. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter kidnapped the lemon in the entourage during the match, but Rose was able to free him and party with his group after his victory. Zeb and Swagger better hope to have a better plan for Rose this Sunday. Crowd not that into Rose. No shock there.
Sheamus vs Del Rio in a first time ever match.
Sheamus beat Alberto Del Rio with the Brogue Kick in, what I believe, was their 304th match against each other. They teased the Payback 2013 finish from Dolph vs Del Rio. Sheamus sold like he was loopy, with a possible concussion, but was able to get the win anyway. Paul Heyman was at ringside and distracted Sheamus on the mic following the bout, allowing Cesaro to run in and attack Sheamus from behind. Sheamus tried to fight back but he was still out of it. Cesaro nailed the Neutralizer to end the beatdown. CAN CESARO REGAIN THE US TITLE THIS SUNDAY!?
Brian Stann appeared on WWE TV again with a Hire Heroes infomercial.
The Contract Signing
First sign this won't go well: Only three pens on the table. Easy catalyst for a brawl. The Shield were out first, and they immediately threw the chairs and table out of the ring. Well, there goes the signing. Rollins, to no crowd reaction, said they were passed signing contracts. Evolution entered the arena to their music, with HHH changing from his suit to jeans and a T. Hunter said that if Shield goes through with this match, it will be the last we ever see of the Shield. Shield didn't back down. Rollins signed it, then Dean signed it, albeit after trouble handling the pen. Roman signed it last, and he threw the contract out of the ring to the feet of Randy Orton. Evolution all signed the contract. THE MATCH IS OFFICIAL!
Dead silence from this crowd still for all this. Roman challenged Evolution to come in the ring and fight. Hunter, Orton, and Batista obliged and we got the usual contract signing brawl to close the go home show. Hunter brought in a sledgehammer to put over the No DQ rules on Sunday. So yep, Evolution got the upper hand to close out this Raw, finishing with a trio powerbomb on Reigns through the announce table.
This was not very good. I imagine it is a show that can't even be saved by cutting it down to 90 minutes on Hulu.
Next week: Will Bryan be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion? Will the Shield be done? Which European will be the US Champion?