WWE Monday Night Raw
June 2, 2014
Noteworthy: Batista quit, and The Shield is no more.
Big Dave Quits
Evolution gets the opening of tonight's show to come out and comment on their loss last night. Triple H and Batista were clad in suits, while Randy Orton is continuing his new pantsless streak. Triple H told the Shield that their feud isn't over, because Triple H doesn't lose! He said they'd keep going until the Shield was no more. Big Dave didn't enjoy this. He grabbed Hunter's mic and said that he doesn't want anything to do with the Shield. Been there, done that, he said. Instead, he wants his promised WWE World title match. HHH said he can't deliver that since Daniel Bryan is hurt. The two went back and forth a bit more until Hunter finally said that nobody is getting what they want until the Shield is extinct. Batista understood that, so he quit! Dave walked out with HHH screaming at him to stay.
Backstage, after break, Big Dave told Tom Phillips he is done. All he gets is crap, so he's done!
#BNB & Cesaro vs RVD & Sheamus
RVD pinned Bad News Barrett. Barrett and Cesaro had control of RVD for most of the match. Late, when Sheamus got the hot tag from RVD, he cleaned house. Paul Heyman, who was at the commentary table earlier, pulled Cesaro out of the ring before he could be hit with a Brogue Kick. Heyman and Cesaro then left the match, leaving Barrett on his own. That's bad news for Barrett, King mentioned. It was bad news, indeed, as Barrett shortly fell victim to the Brogue Kick followed by the 5 Star for the loss.
The Usos will battle the Wyatt Family tonight.
Damien Sandow's impersonation this week is Lance Stephenson, a member of the Indiana Pacers. He said that he wished he could be preparing for a game tonight, but his team lost the the greatest player of all time, LeBron James. Sandow then gave us a public display of his skills in the ring, all while a small basketball hoop was position in the corner. The display consisted of Sandow playing with a basketball for a few moments until The Big Show returned. Sandow dared Show to score on him, giving him the basketball. Show threw the ball at Sandow, then delivered a KO punch. Show slammed the ball through the hoop to finish this nothing segment.
Bo Dallas vs Kofi Kingston
Bo Dallas pinned Kofi Kingston with the running Bodog. More anti-Pacer talk before the match, as Bo said that the Heat beat the Pacers because they all Bo-lieved. Some in the crowd tried to start a "Bray Is Better" chant, but it didn't pick up at all. Bo did his victory lap around the ring, then tried to hug Kofi, but Kofi pushed him away.
Stephanie McMahon Makes a Title Match for MITB
Stephanie McMahon was out to again address the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. She berated Bryan for last night's actions, and blamed him for putting his selfishness over the fate of his wife. She made Kane vs Bryan in a stretcher match for the title at Money In The Bank. If Bryan can't wrestle, then the title will be vacated and decided in the Money In The Bank ladder match. This news brought out John Cena. It was at this point in the show where some loud CM Punk chants broke out, but they faded rather quickly. Cena was out to address the world title situation, which he said has gotten out of hand. He said that no one person is bigger than the title, which Steph agreed with. However, he was referring to Stephanie. She isn't bigger than the title. The title is about proving yourself in the ring, which Daniel Bryan has done. He went on and on basically telling Stephanie to quit messing with Bryan. He then told her that she sucks at her job. Stephanie looked away, smiled, and said she doesn't care what Cena or the fans think. Stephanie made John Cena vs Kane for right now. Kane entered, complete with his graphics that highlight his twitter handle. Quite the demon.
John Cena defeated The Demon Kane via DQ when Kane would not stop kneeing Cena in the corner. Kane wasn't done, and beat him around ringside until, of course, Cena got the upper hand. Cena got the better of Kane, then walked out with his music playing like the superman he is. Kane rose up and threw a tantrum at ringside ala Alicia Fox.
Backstage, Randy Orton told Renee Young that he has been granted a match tonight with Roman Reigns.
Los Matadores defeated Drew & Heath of 3MB. Hornswoggle came out with a fake afro, but Torito removed it mid match to reveal the partially shaved head of Hornswoggle.
Divas Handicap Match
Alicia Fox & Aksana defeated Nikki Bella. Alicia got the win with the axe kick. Afterward, Alicia threw Nikki out of the ring and then ran the ropes in celebration. She screamed "#Winning" while Aksana cheered her on.
While Alicia and Aksana were still beating up Nikki, the lights went out. When they returned, we got the Wyatts on the Tron! This time, however, it was just Luke and Rowan. Luke spoke about taking up his cause. He told the Usos that they will suffer for their misdeeds and burn. Rowan finished with the "Follow the buzzards."
Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger are in the ring after break. Zeb said Jack would run the hippy out. The hippy in this case is Adam Rose.
Adam Rose vs Jack Swagger
Adam Rose, in front of the most responsive crowd to him since his debut, defeated Jack Swagger with the Party Foul. Rose did not have his usual NXT entourage this week. The face that Zeb made when Rose danced around in his entrance was priceless. The match itself was not priceless. Average short TV match, this was.
Backstage, the Usos said they'd handle their business tonight.
Rowan and Luke Harper came out under darkness for their tag battle. Bray Wyatt was nowhere to be found. The most annoying tag team in quite some time made their entrance next, and we here have a tag team clash.
Luke Harper & Rowan defeated The Usos after Rowan pinned an Uso with the Side Effect.
The Money in the Bank PPV promo ad is absolutely horrible and ridiculous.
Bad News Barrett vs Rob Van Dam for the Intercontinental Championship was announced for Main Event.
Money In The Bank Qualifying Match
Alberto Del Rio defeated Dolph Ziggler to gain entry into the Money In The Bank ladder match on PPV. Of course, he did. Del Rio avoided a pinfall loss after both a Fameasser and a top rope X Factor, and came back to win with his cross armbreaker. Really wonder what the final MITB field is going to look like.
They replayed Cody walking out on his brother from last night's Payback. Apparently, Cody has picked a new partner for Goldust.
Sin Cara & Goldust vs The RybAxel
Ryback & Curtis Axel continue their win streak. So, according to Cody, Sin Cara is a better partner than he. Cody must not be a stats guy. Commentary during this one was...wacky. Ding & Dong of WCW fame were referenced, if that tells you anything. Anyway, Sin Cara took the fall here, so Cody better try harder next time with his pick. Sin Cara missed the swanton and fell to Axel's finisher for the pinfall loss.
Rusev Gets A Gold Star
Lana introduced a clean shaven, suit wearing Rusev, and the two made their way to the ring to receive an honor from the Russian Federation. Rusev beating Big E really popped Putin, apparently. Some geeks were in the ring for the ritual. One of them said this was Russian's highest civilian honor, and it consisted literally of a gold star put around Rusev's neck. Rusev, standing on a podium, Lana, and the geeks then stood still for the anthem. The Russian national anthem played while confetti was sprinkled down into the arena. JBL spoke during the anthem. How disrespectful! Then, hilariously, Raw went to commercial during the anthem. I guess that is it for this segment.
Bray Wyatt returns this Friday on Smackdown!
Roman Reigns vs Randy Orton is next! During the entrances, Triple H said tonight was plan B.
Are you kidding me?
Seth Rollins turned heel. Joined Evolution.