Friday, 04 July 2014 16:00
By Emerson Witner
Before I get started, I invite all of you to tune in every Wednesday night at 10:00pm EST to the Wrestling Outsiders Podcast as we look at past WWE, WCW and ECW pay per views. Some big, important news to start this week. I accidentally stole Bryan Alvarez's iPod earbuds. He told me all was good since I returned them.
Colin Cassidy (w/Enzo Amore) pinned Sylvester Lefort (w/Marcus Louie)
The certified G and bonafied stud returned last week and by himself has made Colin so much better. God I missed Enzo. Sylvester cut a promo ripping on New Jersey, which somehow got heat in Orlando. Colin won a minute match with a East River Crossing and the Empire Elbow. Really he should just use the East River Crossing as a solo finisher.
- Adrian Neville put over how great RVD is and that he beat him last week. Tyler Breeze wandered in and pointed out that he can cash in his title shot at any time. Neville offers him a title shot tonight, but Breeze had to beg off because he had a tragic hand modeling incident.
- A Bull Dempsey video aired. I swear they actually used several clips of him using a headlock last week.
- Bryan just emailed me and was still really angry. I apologized again and hopefully that is enough.
The BFF's (Charlotte and Sasha Banks) defeated Bayley & Becky Lynch
Bayley is no longer introduced as “It's Bayley”, which isn't as awesome. The last time Bayley teamed with someone to wrestle the BFF's, it was when Charlotte turned on her. We got an inset promo where Bayley and Becky hugged each other. Becky looks better this week than she did last week. It helps doing tag matches and you only need to tag in for a minute or two. They were doing the ridiculous “really quick tagging” gimmick that Ascension used to do. I still hated it.
They finally got the heat on Bayley, which didn't happen until after a commercial break. I know people say this all the time, but the women on NXT are so much better than so many of them on Raw. Yes people have off days and off weeks on this show, but consistently they put on more great matches than their main roster counter parts.
Becky got the hot tag and ran wild until Charlotte hit a low dropkick and Bow Down To The Queen for the win. After the match, Sasha talked shit to Becky until Bayley threw her down.
- Justin Gabriel said Sami Zayn reminds him of a young Justin Gabriel. The guy is fucked. Tyson Kidd walked in and they discussed how they both lost to Adrian Neville. Kidd pointed out that Justin has a way out and that's to turn heel and re-align with Tyson.
- Charlotte told Sasha Banks that they aren't partners anymore, officially breaking up the BFF's. Charlotte said she cannot trust either Sasha or Summer. Sasha pointed out that they got along quite well without her. Charlotte pointed out she was champion, so Sasha told her that next week it would be Summer vs Bayley for the #1 Contender spot.
- Bryan just called me and fired me. This is a disgrace. I have been doing this review for almost 4 years! But, I won't complain and burn my bridge. Instead I have named my own replacement. My brother Brian. May God have mercy on us all.
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is a heavy heart and deep remorse that I must inform you that my brother, Emerson Witner, has been released from his duties writing for F4W, AngryMarks and Gerweck. He was a good writer and his words inspired us like the Gettysburg address or the MLK Jr. I have a dream speech. Anywho……. enough with that shit lets jump right into the Brian ERA!!!!
Just like NXT, it’s time for a new writer to step up and rise out of the shadows. That’s right, it is I, Brian “I’m not sure what will debut first the Monday Night Wars or Sami Callihan” Witner
CJ Parker pinned Steve Cutler
CJ comes out and immediately grabs a anti Xavier Woods sign. Parker dominates most of the match. The announce team mention how Parker is very vicious but he is very environmental friendly. This just proves that the people who come up with gimmicks will try anything. Parker won this short match with a heel kick
- Good news. Bryan Alvarez re-thought his hasty decision and re-hired me as long as I paid him a fine of 10% of my weekly NXT salary. So my brother will not be writing anymore. He missed the opportunity to make the following, very timely, Mike Adamle joke: We don't know much about CJ's opponent except his last name rhymes with Butler and if he would have won than The Cutler would have done it
- After the match CJ cut a promo about Xavier Woods being the most educated man in WWE, but has achieved nothing since leaving NXT.
- Tyson Kidd did a sit down interview with Renee Young. He blamed Natalya's losing at Takeover as to what led to him losing his match to Adrian the first time. He snapped when he grabbed the chair during the rematch and Nattie grabbing the chair snapped his head out of it. Tyson has nothing personal against Sami, but he walked out of the tag title match because he didn't want the title match and only did it because his wife set it up for him. Nattie is his entire world and the fans chanting “Nattie's husband” is just a fact. He does not feel he is in his wife's shadow and there is no one in the world he loves more than his wife. He finally walks off when Renee asks if there are marital problems.
Sami Zayn submitted Justin Gabriel (w/Tyson Kidd)
Main event time. Gabriel how let his hair grow. He was just on the show a few weeks ago and I don't remember it being that long. He kind of looks like a much smaller Mason Ryan. The announcers argue about fighting with wives, with Mr. Regal pointing out that he has been fighting with his 17 wives for the last 13 years. I wonder which one gave birth to the Siamese twins he keeps in the attic?
The fans weren't into the match at first, they were too busy chanting “Nattie's husband” at Tyson, but the work of the two got them into it. Tyson stood outside telling him to ignore the crowd and be smart. Gabriel worked as the heel, enough that the fans knew it, but not enough that the audience turned on it. Sami made his comeback, including hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall. Gabriel hit a kick off the middle rope, an Emerald Fusion, but to the knee and a Moonsault, but only got a 2 count each time.
A frustrated Gabriel went up top for a 450 Splash, but Sami crotches him and eventually hit an STO and slapped on the Koji Clutch for the win! Kidd was disappointed in his former partner at ringside. After the match, Tyson attacked Sami and left him lying. Justin made a half assed attempt to get him to stop, before joining in on a 2-on-1 attack on Zayn. Finally Adrian Neville ran down to make the save and this is going to lead to some awesome tag team matches.
- Until next week, I hope I don't get buried and am forced to re-review old episodes of Total Divas or being made to watch Impact.