By Alan O'Brien
The Main Takeaway
Your Divas champion becomes the latest idiot babyface to fall victim to the deadly distraction/schoolboy combo.
Titus O’Neil w/Darren Young defeated Stardust by countout (3:40)
The first of two matches on this show that were set up on RAW the previous night. Titus of course took a wrong-turn into Cody’s backstage planetarium (not a euphemism) on Monday night, before pinning Cosmic Wasteland member, Konnor, in the subsequent six-man tag.
Very short back-and-forth TV match, with no real discernible structure to it. Usual shine stuff for Titus in the beginning where he channels the Big Show by delivering forehand chops to his foe’s chest in the corners. Stardust gets caught off a top rope cross body attempt, allowing Titus to hit his rib-breakers before tossing him with gay abandon. Speaking of which, Darren was on commentary for this one. He mentioned the “paywinda” twice. No-one laughed.
Titus does the Gator Bark to signal the splash in the corner, but Stardust bails and walks to the back for the lame countout finish. Gotta keep Stardust looking strong, ya know?
Ryback defeated Heath Slater by pinfall (2:58)
We get a clip of The Ryback ruining The One Man Band’s performance in Nashville the prior evening. Hey, I know this will be a squash match, but I appreciate that they’re at least creating the illusion that this show matters in the grand scheme of things.
Heath’s out for revenge. He dresses down Ryback before the bell, comparing himself angrily and favorably to one Garth Brooks. More like Chris Gaines, right?! Right?
Short enhancement match. Ryback gets the win by countering Heath’s patented top-rope flying nothing into a spinebuster, followed by a Meathook and a Shellshock.
Rusev defeated Zach Ryder by submission (4:17)
Mild “Let’s Go Ryder! WOO, WOO, WOO!” and “USA!” chants after the bell from this Indianapolis crowd. They must be an optimistic bunch.
A longer than expected enhancement match here, in which Rusev gave Ryder quite a lot, including two consecutive Broski Boots for a close two-count.
Unsurprisingly however, Rusev eventually locked on the Accolade and Zach tapped like Fred Astaire.
- No backstage segments on this week’s show, but we do get a recap of the main event segment on RAW, where Roman Reigns ran off Sheamus and his Euro buddies with a steel chair.
Brie Bella w/Alicia Fox defeated Charlotte by pinfall (9:34)
Yep, you read that right.
Opening bell rings amid the now obligatory “We Want Sasha” chants. Decent match - certainly better than last week’s psychology-free Naomi/Alicia effort - in which Brie worked Charlotte’s left arm consistently throughout the contest. Although quite what submission she was setting herself up for is very much up for debate. As is persisting to use your husband’s babyface kick sequence when you’re supposed to be a heel.
Back-and-forth finishing sequence, in which both women hit their signature moves, climaxing in a big boot and a spear from Ms. Flair.
And then, Paige’s music hit. And Charlotte walked to the ropes to gawp at her like an idiot. Before falling victim to the most electrifying move in sports entertainment - the schoolboy - for the one, two, three. Lame.
A much-less focused show than last week’s offering, which was all about bigging up Titus O’Neil. And from a wrestling perspective, two awful finishes and two squashes do not a happy Main Event viewer make. Recommendation to avoid.