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Impact Wrestling United We Stand results: Lucha Bros vs. RVD & Sabu

Impact Wrestling United We Stand

Thursday's show came to us from the Rahway Recreation Center in Rahway, NJ, with Josh Mathews and Don Callis on commentary. The story for the event is wrestlers from Impact Wrestling, AAA, MLW, Lucha Underground, and WreslePro all in action. 

The venue looked packed, and the ring they used looked really small, especially when the Ultimate X structure was installed. 

The show opened with RVD arriving at the venue into the same intro video we have seen the last month with kids dressed as superheroes. 

Johnny Impact defeated Jake Crist, Dante Fox, Pat Buck, and Ace Austin in an Ultimate X Match to win a future X-Division title shot

Kotto Brazil couldn't make it to the show tonight. Jack Evans was also missing, but Ace Austin replaced him.

Most of the match consisted of one wrestler going for the X, being stopped by someone else, and so on. The highlights of the match were Crist hitting a superplex on Johnny, the Tower of Doom spot, followed by Johnny hitting a Swinging Razor's Edge on Austin, and Fox taking out everyone with his Springboard Imploding 450 on the outside.

Austin then climbed all the way to the top of the pillars where the ropes were set and dove from the top on the rest of the men. Crist went for the X, but Buck hit a spear from the top rope to stop him. Johnny hit a Spanish Fly on the second rope on Fox. Ace went for the X, but Crist hit a cutter from the corner bringing Austin down. The finish saw Johnny climb the ropes to reach the X, bringing it down and earn an X-Division title shot.

The match was a lot of highspots. With two men missing, and Austin being a last minute replacement, parts of the match felt called on the spot.  

- Backstage, Moose and Eddie Edwards met. Moose told Edwards that this is his team and to not get in his way. Brian Cage walked in and told them that they need to work together because they're already outnumbered. Cage said he knows the Lucha Underground guys more than anyone. Edwards said that he'll find a fourth partner. 

We got a video package of last year's Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground show to build up tonight's Impact vs LU match.

Team Lucha Underground (Drago, Aerostar, Marty "The Moth" Martinez, & Daga) defeated Team Impact (Brian Cage, Moose, Eddie Edwards, & Tommy Dreamer)

All the Lucha Underground guys came out together with Marty The Moth replacing the originally announced King Cuerno. Impact wrestlers came out individually, but commentary sold it as LU's solidarity. Moose came out with a great Ric Flair robe. The fourth man ended up being Tommy Dreamer, who got a good reaction from the crowd.

Edwards and Aerostar started the match with a series of reversals and lucha armdrags. Marty and Dreamer went at it next with Dreamer hitting some jabs which made Marty tag out quickly. Drago hit some ranas before Cage and Daga made it in. They had a great quick exchange with fast paced action, ending with Cage getting the advantage with a backbreaker. Moose tagged himself in, but got taken out by Daga and the combined dropkicks of Aerostar and Drago. Daga took out Moose with a dive. 

Inside the ring, Cage went against both Aerostar and Drago, who worked together to take out Cage. Aerostar hit a dive on everyone outside. Cage then suplexed Aerostar on top of everyone outside. Dreamer teased diving, but just walked down to floor and jabbed everyone. Dreamer and Edwards exchanged water mouth to mouth to the disgust of yours truly. 

Back in the ring, Edwards was trapped as Team LU worked on him with quick tags and double team moves. As mentioned, the ring was really small, so some of the spots looked liked he could had just extended his hand and tagged out. Cage came in after the hot tag and went after Daga. At this point, the match broke down and all men got in the match except Moose. Everyone started exchanging finishers ending with Cage going for the Drill Claw on Daga, but Moose turned on him and hit a Spear.

Dreamer took out Moose with the kendo stick, followed by a dive from Edwards, leaving Dreamer open in the ring for "The Moth" to pick up the win on Dreamer following a butterfly DDT.

There were too many men in a small ring and for a short time for this to be any good. There were some good spots, but overall, it felt rushed.

- Taya Valkyrie cut a promo backstage talking trash on New Jersey and complain that she has to defend her title against three women tonight, but just like Johnny won tonight, she will beat the odds and walk out champion.

Impact Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie defeated Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, & Katie Forbes to retain

All challengers got in Taya's face, but then they all attacked Rosemary. Taya, Grace, and Forbes went for a three-way test of strength, but they quickly changed that and went for quick roll-ups on each other. Forbes and Taya teamed up against Grace, taking her out, leaving Taya vs. Forbes in the ring. 

Taya dominated Forbes with several strikes, a running hip attack, and the running knees, but when Taya went to play to the crowd, Rosemary came back into the mix. Rosemary tossed Taya around a bit until Taya found an opening to escape. Jordynne and Rosemary fought with the former hitting her running corner combo and the Vader Bomb for a two count. Jordynne hit an airplane spin, but she only did a few rotations before hitting a Samoan Drop. Forbes returned hitting a scissors kick and a punt kick on Grace for a pin attempt.

Taya returned, hitting a German on Forbes. Taya and Jordynne then took out Rosemary and Forbes before taking each other out with lariats. Rosemary locked in the Upside Down on Grace while Forbes started squatting with Taya on a fireman's carry. She went to add Rosemary, but the weight was too much for her. All women started exchanging strikes in the middle of the ring, ending with Taya chasing Road to Valhalla on Rosemary, but Rosemary dodged and hit a spear on Taya. 

Suddenly, Su Yung came out to the ramp. Rosemary abandoned the match and brawled with Yung into the back. Back in the ring, Grace took out Forbes with the Grace Driver, but Taya broke the pin up and stole it.

The match was decent, especially everything between Grace and Taya, but the finish feelt empty. Forbes got a good showing here.

- Tessa Blanchard cut a promo backstage saying that she'd be the one defending the title tonight if not for Gail Kim. She then cut a promo on Joey Ryan.

LAX (Santana & Ortiz) w/Konnan defeated Promociones Dorado (Low Ki & Ricky Martinez)

No Salina de la Renta with Promociones Dorado, unfortunately. There was a great reaction for LAX.

After a long time of Santana and Low Ki talking trash to each other, these two started the match. They went for a few strikes before locking up, exchanging control with Low Ki usually coming on top, at one point locking in a great looking armbar on the ropes. Santana and Low Ki got so heated that their respective partners just tagged themselves in. Ortiz and Martinez did a series of reversals and counters with fast paced action.

Ortiz got a two count with something that looked like a Tiger Northern Lights Suplex. Santana tagged in as they kept working over Martinez, but Low Ki did a blind tag that allowed him to sneak up on Santana and successfully cut him off from his corner. 

Promociones Dorado worked over Santana for a while with quick tags, strikes, and a few submission attempts. Santana tagged out at the first opening he had. Ortiz came in with a good hot tag, but Low Ki quickly turned it around and went for the foot stomp, but was thrown off the ropes by Santana. LAX hit a hanging cutter for a two count when Low Ki broke the pin with a senton.

Low Ki hit a springboard kick into Ortiz, who was in an electric chair position, but it only got them a two count. Santana took out Low Ki outside the ring, leaving Ortiz in the ring with Martinez for the finish with a Death Valley Driver. Outside the awkward start, this was really good once it got going. Santana seemed hurt in the midsection as he walked to the back.

- Sami Callihan cut a promo on Jimmy Havoc saying that he was feeling violent and tonight, he and his brother from across the pond were going to see who was the most violent player.

Tessa Blanchard defeated Joey Ryan

Ryan did his shtick during his entrance with the baby oil and lollipop, but the look on Blanchard's face was all worth it. Ryan immediately told Tessa to touch his penis to which Blanchard replied by flipping him off which woke up the crowd.

We started with Tessa locking up, but Joey forced Tessa's hand on his penis. He did this on several occassions to chants of the fans telling her to "touch his d*ck". Tessa instead suplexed Joey by his chest hair. Tessa hit a couple of forearms and then hit a great Magnum on the corner. Joey retaliated by tossing Tessa right into the ringpost. 

Joey started working over Tessa's left arm, working it against the guardrail and the apron. Tessa fought back with one arm, but Joey quickly cut her off, always going for the arm. Joey's offense was nice and vicious. Tessa eventually hit a desperation huricanrana and a dive to turn things around. She hit a top rope cannonball for a two count. Joey hit a huge Pumphandle Suplex, but he was getting too cocky for his own good, giving Tessa time to recover. Joey hit a spinebuster for a two count and transitioned into another armbar. Tessa got out and hit a couple of Tornado DDTs for another near fall.

Joey hit the Boobplex, which commentary had trouble calling, and finally got Tessa's hand on his penis for the YouPornPlex. Joey got a second lollipop on Tessa and a superkick for another two count. Joey went for the Mustache Ride, but Tessa countered and hit the top rope Magnum for the pin.

Even with Ryan's shtick, this was a good match. Tessa was a great babyface and Joey was a great heel. 

X-Division Champion Rich Swann defeated Flamita to retain

Flamita replacied his fellow Dragon Gate roster member Yamato, but was announced as part of AAA regardless. 

They started the match with a fast paced exchange of reversals and flips ending with Swann hitting a dive on Flamita to gain control of the match. Swann slowed down the match and locked in an abdominal stretch on Flamita who made it to the ropes. After a couple of chops, Flamita hit Swann with a superkick, a 619 on the corner, and a Tope con Giro. 

Back in the ring, Swann and Flamita exchanged kicks before the latter got a two count with a backbreaker. Swann hit a striking combo for a two count himself. Swann went for the Phoenix Splash, but Flamita dodged and hit a Spanish Fly. Flamita hit a Tiger Driver and splash for a near fall. Both men got into a strong style striking battle that ended with Swann dodging Flamita and hitting a Lethal Injection for a two count. Swann hit a Standing Frankensteiner and the Phoenix Splash to retain the championship to end a good match.

- Sabu and RVD cut a promo backstage putting over the Lucha Bros, but he said that when it came to a fight, he wouldn't want anyone else by his side than Sabu. This was a total RVD and Sabu promo if you've ever seen one.

Sami Callihan defeated Jimmy Havoc in a Monster's Ball match

Havoc came out without music, but he had his trusty staple gun and chain with him. Callihan came out with a trash can and the bat that made him famous. 

Havoc got an initlal quick cheap shot and after swerving Callihan with a dive, he got the first staple shot on Callihan. Havoc chased Sami around the ring stapling him, one to his private parts. Callihan threw a desperation chair to Havoc's head, busting him open. They kept brawling outside using the weapons that were surrounding the ring. They fought up to the apron where Havoc went for a piledriver, but Callihan reversed and hit one himself. 

Back in the ring, Callihan brought out another stapler. Havoc went for a sunset flip which Sami blocked by stapling some dirty newspapers on Havoc. Callihan low blowed Havoc and went to hit him with a frying pan several times. Callihan then produced lemons which he squeezed all over Havoc's cuts. Sami placed Havoc inside a trash can and swung a chair into him, but Jimmy made a comeback with the trash can on him, and turned the match around. 

Jimmy started cutting Sami with paper, going for his hand, mouth, and the space between his toes. Havoc hit a Death Valley Driver into the trash can for a two count. Jimmy brought out jumbo sized Legos, which actually hurt less than the normal ones. Callihan hit a piledriver on them for a one count. Callihan finally went for the bat strike, but instead of pinning Havoc, he set up two chairs for another piledriver and pin to win a fun hardcore match. 

Both men bumped fists afterward.

Impact Tag Team Champions Lucha Brothers (Pentagon Jr. & Fenix) defeated Rob Van Dam & Sabu in a non-title extreme dream match

From the start, we got dueling chants of "RVD", "Cero Miedo", and "Sa F'n Bu". They exchanged taunts with each other which got "This is awesome" chants. Eventually, Sabu got tired and went after Pentagon. They hit each other with kicks before ending with a standoff. 

Sabu and RVD isolated Fenix first, but Pentagon came in and took a Rolling Thunder by RVD. Sabu got a near fall on Fenix after an RVD monkey flip. Pentagon chopped both Sabu and RVD, setting up the former for a double superkick. Lucha Bros hit a couple of double team moves, but Sabu was there to break up the pin. 

Sabu and RVD brought out a table, but the Lucha Bros cut them off before they could set it up. Eventually, both Lucha Bros ended on the table with Sabu and RVD hitting stereo leg drops for a two count. RVD went for the frog splash, but Pentagon tossed a chair, taking him out. Pentagon hit the Spike Fear Factor on Sabu for the win.

The match was somewhat rushed and some spots seemed out of position, but the action between RVD vs. Pentagon or Fenix was good. The finish felt slightly underwhelming since we didn't get the 5-Star Frog Splash in RVD's big return.

Lucha Bros offered handshakes to their opponents, and they all celebrated together in the ring to close the show.

The show wasn't exactly good, but I wouldn't call it bad either. There were a lot of production hiccups when it came to audio, timing, and the competence of the camera crew that really hurt the show.