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Total Divastation: A Recap of WWE Total Divas episode 7

Total Divas season 5 cast

By Kevin LaRose for WrestlingObserver.com

Neidhart makes fun of Nattie for saying “golly.” Ain’t gonna stop me now. Welcome to Total Divas. 

Outside a live event in Baltimore, Nattie gives advice to a young girl.

Kevin traveled to be with Paige at the live events. Things aren’t going so great in their relationship. Kevin watches Paige’s match on the monitor, he looks miserable. Paige loses her match. They play Sasha Banks’ music as the cast goes to Corpus Christi. Kevin kisses Paige goodbye. Maybe next season we can get Banks on here so she can learn lessons, too. It might put her at a disadvantage if she can’t be put in the same position to learn the life lessons that the cast is learning on a weekly basis. 

Nattie touches Naomi’s hair. A giant bouquet of flowers arrive. They’re for Brie from Bryan. Everybody awws that Bryan is so sweet. Then they make Brie feel bad for not getting him any presents. Everyone tells Brie that she has to buy Bryan more presents. Brie agrees. 

***

The Bellas and Nattie check into a nice hotel. The Bellas asks Nattie why she hasn’t taken TJ’s name yet. She doesn’t want to. The Bellas giver her shit for not putting over the patriarchy.

Backstage now, Rosa is worried because she has to talk to Carrano. She wants to start doing backstage interviews. She asks Nattie if she can practice interviewing her. Rosa does a horrible job. 

Nikki talks about her “Bellabration” on Raw. Nikki throws a cake on Fox and Brie. Brie and Fox walk around backstage covered in cake. Brie thinks they need to do more things like that. The other divas taste the cake.

Rosa talks to Carrano. Rosa does a horrible job. Carrano doesn’t think it’s a good idea.

Paige gets a text from Kevin. She’s feeling a ton of pressure. The one thing Paige hates is pressure. Paige goes to Jacksonville to hang out with Fox at her house. They go on social media and drink Starbucks together. 

Bryan comes in and gives Brie a shirt that he and his niece made. Brie loves it. He cuts her off at the knees with a shot about how one of them “has to be romantic.” Brie says she’s romantic in the bedroom. Bryan laughs, and talks about how he likes foreplay and she just wants to get right to it. Bryan asks Brie what he got him for their Wedding, Christmas, and his birthday… All IOUs. Uh oh, Brie. Brie says she’s like the man in the relationship. Bryan agrees, if by the man she means the one who forgets everything. Bryan keeps laughing at her. This is passive aggressive and it is awkward to watch. 

It’s now time for Night of Champions. Nikki has a big fight with Charlotte. Backstage, Nikki touches Rosa. Rosa is upset because she doesn’t have anything to do. Nikki tells her to do social media. Rosa thinks that is a great idea.

Nattie shows everyone her cat. Carrano comes and sits down with them. Fox asks Nattie why she hasn’t changed her name yet. Everyone starts arguing. Nattie doesn’t want to change. Titus come by and makes a joke. 

Backstage, Renee Young and Nattie sing the Bellas’ theme song. Everyone talks about how important Nikki’s match is. Nikki taps out, and she is sad but proud of herself. Everyone cries. Nikki has to take time off now to heal. 

Back in Florida, I am so excited because Nattie, TJ, and her parents are finally going to a restaurant. This one looks a little small, but there are pictures of cityscapes on the wall so you can rest assured that it’s hip. The walls are a green color, and the wood accents are a mahogany hue. Nattie brings up the vacation they are all going on. Everyone gives Nattie shit about not changing her name.

Paige is in a car with Kevin. Nothing happens.

In Phoenix, Brie and Nikki are at a glass object store. Nikki decides she’s going to set up a date night for the Brie and Bryan. 

Back in Florida, in a car, Nattie and TJ are arguing about changing Nattie’s last name. Nattie keeps telling him the world has changed. Nattie worries about how emasculated TJ must feel. 

Back in Phoenix, Brie is all dressed up which surprises Bryan. Bryan is now in a limo and he feels so strange in it. Bryan thinks he looks like a Hobbit in a suit. Bryan is not having a good time. Bryan tells her she doesn’t need to dress up for him. Brie thinks she is a romance failure. Bryan is not happy.

***

Now they are in Texas. Nattie is excited because she gets to wrestle Naomi. Rosa goes to talk to a man about social media. The dude says she might be able to do social media. Rosa is stoked. She tells Big Show the big news and he acts excited. Nattie is nervous to wrestle.

Back from commercial, Nattie is about to wrestle. The crowd chants for Nattie. They don’t show the ending, so I guess she lost. 

Rosa is about do her first social media. Rosa does a horrible job. The crew is visibly upset. Heath Slater interrupts, and Rosa thinks she did a great job.

Fox and Paige both have flowers. Paige doesn’t want to go home. She doesn’t want to deal with Kevin. They argue all the time and they stopped having sex. Fox thinks Paige is being ridiculous. Paige and Fox have a flower fight. 

Back in Florida, Nattie announces to everyone that she is going to change her name to Neidhart-Wilson. Everyone thinks it’s great but they give her shit anyway.

Back in Phoenix, Bryan is excited about how nice Brie looks. Brie tells him to go start the car. Bryan yells excitedly. She rented him a Tesla. Bryan is having such a great time. He looks so happy. She takes him to a farm and gives him a koala statue. Bryan is so happy.