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Lucha Underground results: Johnny Mundo vs. Cage; Taya Valkyrie debuts

The show opens with a recap of Mundo and Cage talking smack last week before transitioning to Texano beating up Chavo. The recap ends with Cage kicking Mundo's ass and hitting Weapon X. We hear a monologue about how "Ian just thought Vampiro was a voice in the head" and how Vampiro would be freed from Ian's mind thanks to using Pentagon Jr. So basically, "Vampiro" is like the alien symbiote in Spider-Man.

Striker and black rimmed glasses Vamp welcome us to the show. Jack Evans interrupts Melissa Santos and tells the crowd to be quiet - the hero they didn't know they had was trying to speak.

PJ Black vs. Jack Evans

Striker gets in his second "Dr. Black" reference in regards to PJ Black, and Evans gets a cheapshot to the gut off a handshake. PJ lands some shots, but gets crotched up top briefly. German suplex gets 2, and Black lands a suplex after Evans goes for a spinning headscissors. Striker gets off a wacky line and Vamp threatens to take away his notes. Drago is in the crowd looking "Lucifer-iffic" according to Striker.  Evans talks smack and tosses a water bottle at Drago, so he comes down. This distraction lets PJ hit the Black Diamond lifting cutter for 2.5, but a mist attempt misses, hits Black and the bridging backslide wins for Evans.

Famous B gets a wacky '80s used car salesman ad saying that if you call his number, he'll make ya famous! This was hilarious, and had a VHS filter on that is perfect for El Rey. King Cuerno is just in the ring for a match, against Killshot.

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King Cuerno vs. Killshot

Lots of chops and kicks to start this off. Killshot sends him to the floor with a nasty chop and gets a flip dive. Cuerno recovers and goes for a Thrill of the Hunt off the apron to the floor, but it gets countered into a cutter off the apron instead. We get a boo/yay punch exchange that turns into a chop exchange. A nasty single leg dropkick hits from Cuerno! Killshot goes for a middle rope moonsault, but eats a kick to the gut. They go for tombstones and counters before Killshot decides "no, the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER isn't enough - and gets a gutbuster". Cuerno recovers and hits the Thrill of the Hunt to win. Cuerno goes for the Thrill of the Kill piledriver, but Fenix saves Killshot. Next, Taxano faces Chavo and the Crew in a gauntlet match.

Texano vs. The Crew and Chavo Guerrero - Gauntlet Match

Chavo sends Mr. Cisco out first. Texano superkicks him while Striker says that Lt. Loco is losing it. Chavo distracts him, so Castro can attack - but he eats a back elbow. Corner lariats hit for Texano, but he then eats a high kick in the corner. Tornado DDT gets 2 for Castro. Castro goes for a La Magistrol, but Texano gets one of his own after a wacky lucha setup. Discus elbow by Castro leads to him running in and eating a powerbomb for the win. Chavo jumps Texano and gets 2. Shortarm lariat hits for Chavo, and Striker calls him a man who was at one point one of the best in the world. Vamp rightfully buries him for this. Texano runs wild with a big forearm smash in the corner. Big backdrop hits for Texano. Texano goes for a suplex on the apron, but Castro uses the bullrope to hold the foot down ala Heenan doing so to Warrior to give Rude the win at WrestleMania V.

375 miles from Boyle Heights, Matanza kills some dudes inside the warehouse. Dario tells Black Lotus that she started a war, and that their mother hurt Dario and Matanza. One day, he stood up to her and he wasn't strong enough then to back up his words. Matanza saved him from a hot iron, but Matanza hit her with the red bull decoration until he killed her. For Dario, it was a happy memory and he leaned how much he loved violence that day. Catrina saunters around the Temple and Pentagon Jr. tells her that the needs to go teach Prince Puma a lesson.

She tells him that she has no reason to give him the match, and as is customary, a wacky kung fu movie fight broke out. Pentagon wins and gets her in the arm snapper position - so she gives him his match, disappears, reappears in the other corner and tells him he's got his match, but he has made the biggest mistake he could ever make. Johnny Mundo comes out to face Cage. Cage is still a machine.

Johnny Mundo vs. Cage

Mundo slaps him to start and takes him down for some mounted punches. They get up and Mundo gets some gut punches and then eats a hopefully low-carb lariat. Hiptoss into a neckbreaker lands for Cage. They fight up top and Johnny hops down the apron to kick Cage. They go to the floor and Mundo gets a step-up dive using the ringpost! Mundo grinds him down with a chinlock. Mundo avoids a pumphandle and Mundo lands a calf kick. Cage lands a backdrop and hits a lariat. Cage gets 2 off a sitout Albama slam-style powerbomb. 

Mundo gets his back/neckbreaker combo and goes for the End of the World, but gets stopped and chopped for 2. Mundo lands a superkick on the apron and slides through for a sunset flip for 2. Mundo's foot is caught and hits a flip kick, but eats a Lucha Destroyer for 2. Flying Chuck hits for Mundo, but the End of the World misses. Discus lariat hits and he stares at Mil. Weapon X hits before Taya Valkyrie comes out. Mundo cracks him in the head with a lead pipe to win. Taya and Johnny put the furry boots to Cage. Taya saunters into the corner and lands a pair of shotgun knees to the face.

Cuerno goes to Catrina's office and says that Fenix won't die and he's tired of carrying the title around - he wants his title match. Catrina tells him that he'll get a match - against Fenix for the Gift of the Gods Title. Catrina says that Fenix can fly, and she hopes Cuerno can too because it's a ladder match.

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