Tables, Ladders, and Chairs, and STAIRS… Oh My! Part 6
By: PeachMachine (@hendosfoodblog)
TLC 6: December 15, 2014; Cleveland, Ohio, Quicken Loans Arena
(39,000 PPV Buys, lowest number since the network)
An excellent video package opens the PPV comparing the TLC show to a demolition derby. It was pretty rad.
Pre Show Match: The New Day (Big E and Kofi Kingston) (with Xavier Woods) defeated Gold and Star Dust.
JBL, Cole, and King on the cans.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper (c) in a Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
- In TLC 4, Dolph was in the main event against Cena. In TLC 5 he was in the pre show match jobbing to Fandango, and tonight he’s in the opener for the Kiss of Death belt.
- Something like 20 ladders had been set up at one point.
- Harper had about 90 seconds alone in the ring and just sort of didn’t do anything. I feel like I personally could put up a ladder and climb it and grab the title in no more than 15 seconds.
- Luke pushed Dolph off the ladder twice.
- Dolph took a Power Bomb on a ladder suspended on the second rope.
- Dolph countered the Power Bomb and gave Harper a face buster on a ladder.
- Harper has a gash on his arm.
- Ziggs tosses a ladder into Harper’s face who then took a bump across another ladder set up off the apron to the announce desk.
- “This is awesome chants,” and I agree.
- Dolph super kicks Harper off the ladder and wins the belt.
The Usos (Jimmy and Jey) vs. The Miz and Damien Mizdow (c) in a Tag Team match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
- Has anyone made more out less than The Miz? He was a reality TV dork. Then a reality TV star. Then a pretend reality wrestler. He’s been WWE Champ, Headlined WrestleMania, Made a bunch of movies. Made millions of dollars, and is married to Maryse. Unbelievable!
- Everyone wants Mizdow to tag in. How can they possibly get any heat?
- Double Rikishi ass spots by Jimmy Uso.
- An interesting parade of finishers leading to Jimmy Uso hooking up a Tequila Sunrise.
- Miz and Mizdow grab their belts and leave, and in doing so, Miz lays out one of the Usos for the DQ. So the Usos win by DQ, but no title change.
Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins (with J and J Security (Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble)) talks about Sting, and then how he’s going to make John Cena pay tonight. This is the storyline where Cena has the ability to bring back The Authority.
We’re getting an anatomy cut away view of the Steel Stairs. They weigh 288, and can withstand an impact of 22,000 lb.
Big Show vs. Erick Rowan in a Stairs match
- A loss for Rowan could really hurt his wine sales this season.
- This was a bad idea on paper, and an even worse idea in execution.
- Big Show Speared Rowan through a stack of chairs.
- Big Show Choke-Slammed him on the stairs and then gave him the Knock Out Punch, and then pinned him with the stairs.
- Mediocre at best.
We get an awesome video package explaining the stips of the next match, which are if Cena loses; he also loses his number one contendership to the WWE Championship.
John Cena vs. Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins with (J and J Security (Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)) in a Tables match
- Paul Heyman came to the announce booth, but is just standing near it.
- J and J jump in and just start putting the boots to Cena. It turns out no DQ applies to others entering the ring as well.
- Cena goes and gets a piece of guardrail and lays out the baddies.
- Noble takes the Suplex from Cena on the guardrail.
- Seth sets up two tables on the outside.
- Now Cena tosses in some more tables.
- Rollins brings in the MITB case and starts whacking Johnny.
- Ref bump and it gets crazy leading to Cena giving Seth the AA off the top through table.
- J and J run in and clean the crime scene and pay for it with a Double AA.
- Cena and Seth fall through a table together and Chiota comes back just in time to see it. They take a long time to debate the results. Chiota restarts the match. Let’s start the 90 second clock... The announce table did NOT break but it was supposed to and that was like at 45 seconds.
- Cena tosses another table in the ring. It is all improv at this point.
- Out comes Big Show and he starts punching Cena and sets up a Choke Slam, just as Roman Reigns' music hits. Reigns gets in and delivers a Spear to Big Show through a table. Cena jumps in and hits an AA on Rollins for the win.
- Heyman and Cena make goo goo eyes at each other.
Nikki Bella (c) (with Brie Bella) vs. AJ Lee for the Divas Championship
- This is pre revolution, so it’s pretty boring. That's sarcasm.
- Nikki did a surfboard with AJ’s spine around the post.
- A nice tornado DDT by AJ.
- AJ hits a pop up bulldog for a two count, and follows it up with the Shining Wizard, but Brie saves Nikki by putting her foot on the rope. Then Brie gets booted for interfering.
- Nikki sprayed something in AJ’s face then hits the Rack Attack for the win. They actually send a fake doctor down to check on AJ’s eyesight, because like I said, doctors don’t mess around with life, limb, or eyesight.
Roman Reigns cuts a promo about doing something awesome at the Royal Rumble. Did that ever happen?
Ryback vs. Corporate Kane in a Chairs match
- Ryback’s outfit makes him look like a guy grilling meat.
- Kane is in control and drops Ryback’s face on a chair.
- This match is garbage. Just really rough spots and nothing going on.
- Kane gave a seated Ryback the Big Boot.
- Ryback with a step out spining belly to belly, a la the great Scott Steiner.
- Kane throws 15 chairs in the ring.
- Kane took half a Spine Buster through half a chair, and then Ryback started whipping him with chairs.
- Kane throws a fastball with a chair right at Ryback’s face then hits him with the Chokeslam, but Ryback kicked out.
- Ryback wins with the Shell Shock
Rusev (c) (with Lana) vs. Jack Swagger
- Rusev hooked on the Accolade, right in the middle. The ref checks Swagger to see if he’s conscious. A lot of times I type conscience when I mean conscious. Swagger makes a crazy comeback and grabs the Ankle Lock.
- Rusev fights it off and hooks on the Accolade again, and the ref calls for the bell.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match with nothing on the line, so it’s basically a weapons match
- Ambrose section shown in the crowd.
- It’s just bad booking to not give them a reason to climb for something even if it’s just a box that contains Scott Hall’s 8x10.
- Ambrose starts it off with a ladder launch at Bray. Immediately they start crowd brawling.
- Ambrose in control after tossing in Kendo sticks.
- Bray comes back with a big punch that knocks Dean off the corner through a table.
- Wyatt rams Dean’s eye into the point of the kendo stick.
- Just a lot of wild brawling and some junk spots. It’s a watered down hardcore match.
- They did one of the weakest table spots ever, where Dean dropped an elbow on Wyatt on a table, from the 3rd rung of a ladder.
- Well, now he’s making up for it by doing it again from farther away on a higher ladder. Is it farther or further?
- Dean goes and gets a twenty-foot ladder and lays Bray on the Spanish Announce team’s desk. He hits a third elbow from really high up.
- This got weird. Ambrose had uncovered a TV from under the ring that was plugged in and showing the PPV for some reason. He tried to use the TV on Wyatt but the chord got caught, so he yanked at it and as he yanked, it exploded, like an electrical burst or fuse blowing. This gave Bray the opportunity to hit Sister Abigail on Dean for the pin.
- Yes, a pin ended a TLC match.
In summary, this was a good show but not the best of the TLC's. It was near the top. My TLC picks would go in this order 4, 5, 6, 3, 1, 2. Let's hope this Sunday we get something that tops the first 6. The bar is set fairly low, but with the current match line-up, it doesn't look good. However, I will still be reviewing this year's offering.