The Big News: TakeOver was amazing, go watch it.
The Medium News: Now called War Raiders, War Machine made their NXT television debut and laid out Heavy Machinery and Riddick Moss & Tino Sabbatelli
The Little Beaver-sized News: In between the six video packages, Kairi Sane also won her match.
The show began with the first of many video packages, this one being a recap of the full TakeOver: New Orleans card.
Kairi Sane defeated Lacey Evans
This match was set up last week when Evans cut a promo about how she was a proper lady, unlike Sane and others. Evans was not liking being outclassed in the ring early and yanked Sane down by her hair to take over. Evans hit a slingshot elbow, which looked good.
Evans sarcastically asked Sane if she was okay before she laid in forearms to the chest. Evans got to look better here than most of her NXT matches, even the ones she won. She shoved Sane into the ropes, but Sane exploded off of them with an Interceptor.
Sane hit the flying Kabuki elbow for a near fall and an Insane Elbow for the win.
We then got a video package for the six-way ladder match for the North American Championship, won by Adam Cole.
We got back-to-back Cole video packages as the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic finals/NXT Tag Team Championship match was showcased, which was won by Cole & Kyle O'Reilly when Roderick Strong turned on Pete Dunne.
Cathy Kelley did a post-match promo with Undisputed Era. Well, she tried to. Before Cole could speak, Strong whispered in his ear and they all went back into their locker room.
We then got an interview with The Authors of Pain, which was after their Raw debut. Akam said this was not about Paul Ellering, this was about how they just destroyed the first-ever SmackDown Tag Team Champions. Ellering walked up and said he devised all the plans to make them successful. Rezar told him his chapter has ended.
Then we got a video package recapping the phenomenal Johnny Gargano-Tommaso Ciampa match. If you didn't watch TakeOver, it's well worth your $9.99 just for this match and you owe it to yourself to go check it out.
Gargano will be on NXT next week.
Guess what? We had another video package! This one was about Ember Moon vs. Shayna Baszler, which Baszler won to become the seventh NXT Women's Champion.
After the match, Baszler was interviewed and said you don't get to jump on and off her bandwagon. She knows who was with her and against her from the start. She said things will change and wrestling in the NXT women's division isn't going to be about who gets the most compliments on their hair and outfit, it will be about who the best wrestler is.
They showed Moon debuting on Raw and then doing a promo talking about how happy and excited she was. She said her biggest regret is that she left Baszler with the rest of the NXT women's division.
We got a video package for every other match, so why not the title match? We had a video package for Andrade “Cien” Almas vs. Aleister Black, where Black won the NXT Championship.
A quick video of No Way Jose debuting on Raw and The IIconics arriving on SmackDown aired.
Next week: Lars Sullivan faces Killian Dain.
Heavy Machinery vs. Riddick Moss & Tino Sabbatelli ended in a no contest
Hey, a match! I almost forgot what these looked like. Moss & Sabbatelli are going through the longest breakup this side of Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy. Murphy is finally doing something two years later, while Blake is still floundering. Perhaps Moss & Sabbatelli should take note of that.
A four-way brawl broke out, which Heavy Machinery got the best of. Tucker Knight and Otis Dozovic did a version of the Bushwhacker stomp before squishing Sabbatelli's head in between their stomachs. As Knight went after Moss, Sabbatelli punched him in the back of the head and the heels took over.
Moss actually caught Knight on a crossbody and slammed him down, which was very impressive. Knight surprisingly used his speed to avoid Moss and Sabbatelli and made the tag to Dozovic. Dozovic ran wild on both -- literally running from corner to corner with big splashes before using the Caterpillar on Sabbatelli.
Suddenly, the War Raiders (War Machine) ran in and assaulted all four men. Called Rowe and Hanson, they decimated both teams and stood tall after using the Fallout on Sabbatelli.
So, that does it for this week. The show was skippable unless you want to see the War Raiders' debut. Until next week, remember to say your vitamins and take your prayers!