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WWE Main Event results: Lana scouts Brie; Ryback pummels Outcast

Lana and Brie

Paige, Natalya and Brie Bella def. Summer Rae and Team B.A.D. by submission

Some rare six-diva tag action to kick off this week’s Main Event. Jerry Lawler, the star of the show most weeks, responds to a Rich Brennan call by asking “Basement dropkick!? Who do you think you are, Mauro Ranallo?!”

The entrance music of Lana interrupts this match early on, as her new-found foe Brie goes at it with Summer Rae. Lana sits on the announce desk to take in proceedings; Lawler accuses Brennan of being “sweaty” in response.

The heel divas get the heat on Nattie (who else?), before she makes a quick, and therefore underwhelming, lukewarm tag to Brie. Brie delivers her husband’s kicks to Naomi to piped in “Yes!” chants, before Tamina interferes and the match breaks down. All the girls hit various moves on each other, before the fog clears and Brie reverses a Naomi high cross into the Yes Lock for the submission victory. Is there anything else of Daniel’s she can co-opt to compensate for being the worst babyface ever?

After the match, the victors stare at Lana, who just stands there and applauds. Well, at least we didn’t get any shitty, Oscars reference-laden dialogue. Small mercies.

Ryback def. Heath Slater w/ Social Outcasts by pinfall

The Outcasts get in-ring promo time before the match, in which they acknowledge Adam Rose’s mauling at the hands of Big Guy (thanks, Granny!) on RAW. Rose says that tonight it’s going to be Legends with The Crimson Werewolf, instead of JBL. Hilarious. Axel cuts in, admonishing Rose for his nicknaming. He says he knows Ryback and that it’s time to get serious. He then goes insane, chopping the air and screaming. The other three join in. Jerry Lawler: “Well, I’m glad we were all part of that little experience!”. Quite.

The actual match is wrapped inside three minutes. Ryback repeated the spot from RAW where he grounds and pounds his opponent; although this time the ref’s credibility was spared as Slater made the ropes. Slater ate the Shellshock moments later.

Lucha Dragons def. The Ascension by pinfall

At this point, I noticed that NXT’s Greg Hamilton was announcing in Eden Stiles’ stead. I also noticed that Kalisto was STILL the US Champion, despite being slotted back into tags and completely de-emphasised on television since Fastlane.

This was another three minute match. The heels got the heat on Sin Cara, leading into the usual Kalisto hot tag stuff. Finish was cool however, with Sin Cara doing a suicide dive through Kalisto’s legs. Kalisto then reversed Viktor’s electric chair into a ‘rana, before hitting the SDS. Sin Cara followed up with the Swanton Bomb for the pin.

- Stardust is backstage in the Star Room, rambling about dealing with Zack Ryder on the road to Wrestlemania. I think. Presumably he’s comfortable cutting promos in the ol’ Star Room again now that Vince’s roughhouser has been suspended.

Stardust def. Zack Ryder by pinfall

These guys have been feuding on Superstars of late, with Cody up 2-1 thus far. This win-loss record was not mentioned on commentary, of course. Perish the thought.

Good match here, eight minutes of which was televised either side of the commercial break. The nearfall segment of it was particularly good, with some nice reversals; including Ryder smoothly countering a suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Ryder also hit a nice looking top rope elbow for two after foiling a Stardust superplex attempt.

The finish saw Ryder attempt the go-behind off a whip to the corner, only for Stardust to scout him, take a step back, and grab him for the Queen’s Crossbow. 3-1 to Stardust!

After the match, Stardust stood on the desk and stared at the crowd to celebrate, prompting Lawler to quip “Can we get Lana back out here!?” as the show went off the air. Heh.

Final Thoughts

Featured contest between Stardust and Ryder was worth watching; some nice chemistry has developed between the two after their recent series. Other than that, there’s not much to see here. The confirmation that we are in fact getting a Lana/Brie feud is probably the biggest news to come out of this week’s edition.