- The Big News: Samoa Joe is your new NXT Champion, but that's something you have known for 6 days already.
- The Medium News: Shinsuke Nakamura returned, continuing his undefeated streak by beating Elias Sampson.
- The Little Beaver Sized News: Asuka kicked Eva Marie's head clean off her body and then squared off with Nia Jax.
NXT Women's Champion Asuka defeated Eva Marie
Miss All Red Everything is the first victim of the new champion. Eva showed way too much confidence walking to the ring, it's almost like she's not smart enough to realize she's about to get killed to death. Corey Graves and Tom Phillips argued about whether Eva being on the winning team at WrestleMania qualified her for a title match.
Asuka used a snap mare in the first minute and kicked Eva so hard in the back that I think she was ready to quit. Eva began getting frustrated as she was unable to connect with any of her moves. Asuka, seeing Eva's growing frustration, mocked Eva's gyrations.
After Asuka sent Eva flying outside the ring Nia Jax came out to lend moral support. This helped turn the match around as we came back from commercial with Eva on offense. Eva's offense, which mind you has improved, looked horribly weak in comparison to the champion. Asuka made her comeback, complete with a dropkick from the middle rope.
Asuka hit several kicks to the chest before actually kicking her right in the breasts, which looked like it hurt just a smidge. Eva did get to do more than you would expect, but she lost with a spin kick to the head.
After the match Nia Jax got in the ring for a stare down. Asuka teased kicking Nia in the head before Nia picked Eva up and they left together.
They showed highlights of the Samoa Joe-Finn Balor match from Lowell last week. This was the first title change on NXT whose entire match was not aired on tv. Anyway, Samoa Joe now joins Seth Rollins, Big E Langston, Bo Dallas, Adrian Neville, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens and Finn Balor as NXT Champions.
The king is dead, long live the new king!
We got a post match promo with Samoa Joe. Joe declared that he said this was inevitable. The last two times they squared off Finn survived, but this time he didn't.
The Revival defeated Matt Lee & Jeff Parker
This is Dash & Dawson's first NXT match since losing the straps at TakeOver: Dallas. This was a better Revival squash than most of their matches as champions. Jeff Parker was beaten like he owed them money, while Matt Lee was busy doing comedy on the apron, leading the crowd in chanting “defense” and screaming that he's following the rules.
Revival hit kind of a reverse Doomsday Device where Dash picked Parker up in a power bomb position before Dawson came off with the clothesline. Lee tagged in and fared no better and got beaten with the Shatter Machine.
After the match The Revival cut a promo saying they are the absolute best tag team on the planet, causing the fans to chant for American Alpha. They put every tag team in the world on notice that they will destroy all of them until they get their belts back.
Hype Bros defeated Blake & Murphy
I should point out that this is Ryder's first tv match since the rematch for the IC Title with Miz on SmackDown. Blake & Murphy didn't have Alexa with them and wow did this trio fall off the face of the Earth lately.
The fans were into the Hype Bros, which is more than you could say about Full Sail lately, but they did not care about Blake & Murphy at all. Mojo got the hot tag and he beat up both Blake and Murphy by himself before tagging Ryder back in to polish off their foes with the Hype Ryder.
After the match the Hype Bros were attacked and beaten down by The Revival, of all teams. Revival gave Mojo the Demolition Decapitation outside the ring after throwing Ryder into the post.
Carmella submitted Aliyah
It's a full card tonight as Carmella makes her first appearance since her men went to Raw without her. In case you forgot, Carmella got her job on NXT when Enzo Amore went to her hair salon and spilled a bucket of hair cream all over Carmella's dog, which cost Carmella her job. Carmella then demanded Enzo get her a job on NXT, which he did.
This match was solid, nothing terribly exciting, just a nice, simple match. Carmella won with a head scissors. It's nice to keep things simple.
Elias Sampson was interviewed backstage about his match with Nakamura. He is annoyed that William Regal misinterpreted his words, but he will show Shinsuke why he is The Drifter. So...he's going to just wander away during the match?
Shinsuke Nakamura pinned Elias Sampson
I still can't believe Nakamura is in WWE, much less NXT. This is so incredibly surreal it's not even funny. It would almost be like Misawa coming to the WWF in 1995 and wrestling Waylon Mercy or Henry Godwin.
Sampson looked pretty good in this match, better than he has in any of his other NXT matches, with Nakamura telling him to lay his stuff in. This match only went 4 minutes, but was as good as you could expect in 4 minutes. It's so weird that Eva Marie got 3 times the amount of time Nakamura got.
Anyhoo, Nakamura won with the Kinshasa.
That will do it for this week. The only thing promoted for next week is Austin Aries in action, so we'll see what happens. Until then remember to say your vitamins and take your prayers!