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WWE Total Divastation: A look at episode 8 of Total Divas

Total Divas season 5 cast

By Kevin LaRose for

The WWE is in Philadelphia. Brie is watching the crew set up the ring and Renee Young announces she bought a scooter. Brie wants one. Nikki thinks it’s a bad idea. She knows Brie will get frightened in traffic. Renee is really insistent that Brie get a Scooter. The whole scooter thing is really getting to Nikki. 

Rosa is eating a ton of food. Nattie comes up and eats Rosa’s food. Nattie asks Paige if she wants to see a picture of her cats. Paige has to go to the ring. Nattie and rosa continue to eat. Paige is stoked that she is such a huge star but she’s bummed about Kevin. She’s decided work is her number one priority. That’s bound to mean bad news for Kevin. 

Nikki confronts Renee about the whole scooter thing. Renee doesn’t think it’s a big deal. They tell Zeb Colter about the scooter. He’s confused. They find Brie. Nikki tells her she is not allowed to get a scooter. Renee thinks a scooter is cool and fine. Nikki makes Brie promise she won’t buy one. Brie promises and Renee could not possibly be more disappointed. Brie was actually lying though.

In Orlando, Paige and Kevin are at the grocery store. Kevin is making chili and he needs some stuff. He’s doing a horrible job finding ingredients and Paige is getting pissed. Paige’s mom, Sarya, is coming and she asked him to promise that everything is fine. Paige picks Sarya up from the airport. Sarya asks about Kevin. Sarya loves Kevin. She gives him a huge hug when she sees him. 

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In Phoenix, Brie and Renee are driving around, I bet they are up to something scooter related. Brie tells her that people are scared of Bryan when he is on a run. They are going to buy a scooter. She found one on Craigslist. Renee is scared of Craigslist. Renee calls the guy and they agree to meet at a pizza place. 

Rosa returns home with a ton of food. Her fiancé is pissed that she bought a cake. He tells her she eats too much, it’s keeping him up at night. Rosa thinks its ok because she is one of the healthiest woman on earth. He is pissed but she forces him to eat cake and he loves it. 

Bryan is freaked out that the scooter costs $3000. He’s driving a car with Brie in the front seat and Renee in the backseat. They see the man who has the scooter from Craigslist. He’s in a white windowless van. They are scared. He’s a totally normal guy. Renee and Brie go for a ride on the scooter. Brie loves it. Bryan looks cool in the motorcycle helmet. He tells her to negotiate. Bryan actually negotiates and cuts a very good bargain. Now they all have scooters. Nikki is going to be so pissed when she finds out.

Rosa’s fiancé is setting up cameras because she thinks he wants to make sure she doesn’t eat whenever she wants. She is concerned. 

Back in Florida, Paige and Sarya are jumping on a trampoline. Then they go out for lunch at a fancy restaurant. Paige tells Sarya she’s going to put her in a home one day. Sarya thinks that’s hilarious. Paige is drinking Bud light. Sarya is worried about Paige. Paige walks out of the restaurant.

Back in Phoenix, the scooter guy comes to deliver the scooters. Renee and Brie go out for a ride. Brie loves it. 

Sarya and Paige are back together in the car laughing about old times. Sarya loves Paige so much, and she’s worried about her. She likes knowing Kevin’s around because she thinks he watches out for Paige. 

In LA, Rosa, Mandy, and Eva Marie are out to lunch at a nice restaurant. Rosa orders so much food and everyone thinks it’s weird. Rosa is so hungry. Everyone also thinks it’s weird that her fiancé set up cameras to watch the fridge. 

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Nikki and her mom and everyone are going out to a nice looking restaurant. Brie pulls up in a scooter and Nikki is pissed. Nikki makes the whole brunch about the scooter. Everyone thinks Nikki is acting weird. Back in LA, Rosa makes a disgusting video of her eating whipped cream sandwiches. She asks him if he’s seen it. He says no. She is confused. He admits that he installed the cameras so that he could monitor himself because he can’t control himself around sweets and he’s gained like 20 pounds since Rosa became pregnant. He feels terrible. They decide to work it out like adults, and everything actually ends up ok.

Paige and Sarya go to a park to talk. Sarya is very protective over Paige. She doesn’t want the bad things that happened to her to happen to Paige. Paige comes clean about her issues with Kevin. Sarya is understanding. Paige realizes she’s been worried about nothing. This is one of those moments where WWE produces something actually heartfelt and emotional, something that feels honest and human and real. Maybe this show is turning a corner and we are going to get some genuine humanity.

Back in LA, Rosa and her fiancé are going to the doctor. They do a sonogram and look at the baby. Rosa wants the baby to be an Olympic soccer player, the fiancé wants her to be the female Kobe. I want her to be herself, untethered from familial expectations. Rosa tells the doctor that she’s been eating too much. The doctor tells her not to eat so much because she could get diabetes. 

In Phoenix, Brie and Bryan are looking at a calendar. They aren’t going to see each other for a while. Nikki barges in yelling, “Bitches.” She acts all smug because Brie didn’t say hi. Nikki is upset about the scooter and Bryan is pissed because Nikki is trying to tell them how to live. The show devolves back into ridiculousness. Nikki thinks she gives great advice. Bryan hates to be told what to do. She wants Brie to buy a car like a normal person. Nikki all of a sudden realizes she’s flying off the handle about the whole scooter thing.  

Back in Florida, Paige is putting Tough Enough Josh to work. Tough Enough Josh speaks in short one or two words bursts. His vocabulary is small, consisting of simple phrases such as “what?” and “for sure.” Paige broke up with Kevin and she’s moving out. She feels bittersweet. Paige moves into a nice new house and immediately calls Kevin. She tells him she’s moved her stuff out. They chat awkwardly. It’s really sad but Paige doesn’t want to be pinned down. She goes back inside and smiles at Tough Enough Josh... That Josh... What a dream boat.