WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event live results: CM Punk & Cody Rhodes vs. Sami Zayn & Gunther

WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event is live from Madison Square Garden in New York City tonight.

The show will feature a tag team match with WWE Champion CM Punk teaming with Cody Rhodes against Sami Zayn and Gunther. The match carries a stipulation that if Zayn and Gunther win, they will both be added to the WWE Championship match at SummerSlam, making it a four-way.

Also announced for the show, Danhausen, who famously uncursed the New York Knicks prior to their NBA Championship win, will go up against JD McDonagh of The Judgment Day.

Former tag team partners Bayley and Lyra Valkyria will also meet in a singles match.

On the pre-show, Trick Williams will face Laredo Kid of AAA.

WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns and Jalen Brunson of the New York Knicks are also advertised.

The announced lineup is as follows:

• CM Punk & Cody Rhodes vs. Sami Zayn & Gunther
• Danhausen vs. JD McDonagh
• Bayley vs. Lyra Valkyria
• Trick Williams vs. Laredo Kid on the pre-show

Our live coverage kicks off with the pre-show at 7:30 p.m. Eastern time.

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That’s right, our pre-coverage of the pre-show, pre-Main Event is pre-starting now! You can expect a lot of pre-going and pre-c– actually, let’s just get into the wrestling show, shall we?

So WWE is big pals with the sports merchandising company Fanatics, so a good chunk of this show will probably ads, including the 4 solid minutes of ads promoting Saturday Night’s Main Event “on the night of Fanatics fest” that led into the pre-show.

Our hosts for the next 32 minutes or so are Stephanie McMahon and Joe Tessitore, along with Jackie Redmond and Cathy Kelley reporting from the crowd and backstage respectively. They ran down the story of the main event over the traditional footage of wrestlers arriving to work (though in their defence, CM Punk was already there and just kind of sitting around). They worked the crowd and rand through the show’s card, with Danhausen getting the biggest roar (non Jalen Brunson division).

Micheal Cole and Wade Barrett chimed in and were mercifully interrupted by the music of the one and only Laredo Kid.

United States Championship Match: Trick Williams (c) vs Laredo Kid

Trick and his dumb fuzzy belt were way over with the MSG audience who chanted “Whoop that, Trick” as he entered.

This match was added to the pre-show this afternoon but what’s more important is that I really enjoyed an Instagram video of Williams buying John Cena trading cards for a kid at Fanatics fest. Can’t that be what Unreal is about? Any ways, Laredo Kid is fantastic (which you would know if you were watching AAA, which you should be) so this match was primed to get the crowd whipped up for the evening’s action.

Williams started things off by ripping a piece of Laredo’s mask off and throwing it into the crowd. Williams had a significant size advantage over Laredo, but Laredo is a 20+ year veteran and used his high flying abilities to keep Williams on his toes.

Laredo targeted Williams’ knee, trying to keep him off his feet. Williams took a few minutes to get used to the Luchadore style Laredo was bringing, but was able to use his own power and strength to counter Laredo’s offense.

Laredo used his spinning moonsault twice before going for the first cover, but Williams wasn’t ready to quit yet. Laredo tried submission, putting on a half crab, but Williams got out of it in time to take a knee to the face.

Williams hit a neckbreaker out of nowhere to turn the tides and dropped Laredo on his face before chopping him in half. Laredo countered a book end into a casadora but could only get a two count on Williams.

Laredo then dove onto Williams on the outside from the top of the ringpost and looked like he took the brunt of it. Williams landed a Trick Shot and that was it.

Match Result: Trick Williams defeated Laredo Kid

Back to Tessitore and Stephanie, they commented that WIlliams is a superstar and then showed footage from Danhausen’s UnCursing Parade earlier in the afternoon. They then played a video package of what WWE stars were up to a Fanatics Fest. This included footage of Tom Brady slapping Logan Paul, which is annoying because the man has seven Superbowl rings AND he gets to slap Logan Paul? Unfair.

Stephanie then moved down to the ring and introduced Oba Femi who came out with his full entrance to the crowd’s delight. Femi said that his last outing against Brock Lesnar didn’t go as he planned (Femi lost) but he’s in Lesnar’s head and that’s good enough.

Femi said that the tides are chaging and in Hell In a Cell, he’s not locked in there with Lesnar, Lesnar is locked in there with him, and he will prevail.

And that’s the pre-show! See you on the other side for:

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT

Then. Now. The night of Fanatics Fest.

The show opened with more people arriving to work and a retrospective of some WWE moments that happened at Madison Square Garden over the years.

Tessitore and Stephanie are your hosts for the evening and they bigged up the card and threw to Cole and Barrett as Fatal Influence’s music began to play.

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match: Paige & Brie Bella (C) vs. Fatal Influence (Lainey Reid & Fallon Henley w/Jacy Jayne)

Paige and Bella have retained the title four times, as they’ve beaten The Irresistible Forces (twice), Bayley and Lyra Valkyria (leading to the disintegration of their friendship) and Raquel Rodriguez and Roxanne Perez. Tonight they face some newcomers in Fatal Influence, so it will be crafty veterans against devious rookies.

As the bell rand, Henley charged at Paige, who tossed her out of the ring. Reid officially started the match and Paige woman-handled her, tagging in Brie. Brie relied on kicks to keep Henley at bay, isolating her in the (sigh) Scream Mode corner.

Reid made a blind tag and dropped Paige over the top rope neck first. She returned the isolation favor and Reid and Henley traded tags and strikes on Paige. Paige psyched them out though and got a tag to Brie who hit a Side Russian Leg Sweep on Henley, before launching in to the Yes Kicks.

Brie transitioned into Brie Mode (which I feel like I should remind you is what they used to say when she got too tipsy on Total Divas) and worked over Henley and Reid. Henley managed a comback though, sending Brie face first into the mat.

Paige tagged in and threw some Knees at Henley on the apron. That brought Jacy Jayne in who Paige dispatched with a right hand. Henley (who looked like she was bleeding from the mouth) was sent to the outside, bringing in Reid. Jayne distracted the ref and Henley levelled Paige with a lariat.

Paige went for a rollup on Reid, but Jayne hopped up and rolled her through into a pin on Paige. 1-2-3, Fatal Influence are the new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions.

Match Result: Fatal Influence defeated Paige and Brie Bella

-Backstage, Cathy Kelley interviewed Sami Zayn. Zayn said that he doesn’t want to call himself a victim, but everything that’s happened since he won the title was egregious. He smashed his head against the glass ceiling for ten years to win the title, when all Cody and Punk had to do was say “when.”

Gunther then interrupted and warned Zayn to stay out of his way, get the job done and not ruin Summerslam for him.

No DQ Match: Danhausen vs. JD McDonagh

Danhausen has become a massive name in WWE, but I think this is the first time since his debut that I personally have seen him wrestling in a WWE ring. He’s been keeping busy though, helping the NY Knicks win a title, stealing Dominik Mysterio’s money, cursing Women’s World Champion Liv Morgan and electrocuting McDonagh.

The Judgment Day got some measure of revenge by trashing Danhausen’s lab and stealing his Knicks jersey. So, at McDonagh’s request, a No Disqualification Match, which I’m sure will allow for all kinds of shenanigans on both sides of the ring.

A film from “WWE Studiohausen” called “The Cursefather” ran down what led up to this confrontation (even though I just told you) and Danhausen added “Basketball Icon” to his list of nicknames.

As the Blimphausen circled the ring, McDonagh entered with Liv Morgan and Dirty Dominick Mysterio. Liv didn’t stick around, but Dom did, holding Danhausen’s Knicks jersey.

Danhausen is fun. He’s like a Darby Allin I don’t have to constantly worry about seriously injuring himself.

The bell rang and Danhausen tried to curse McDonagh, but he rolled out of the ring to confer with Dom. Dom hopped up on the apron and distracted Danhausen so JD could jump him from behind. He sent Danhausen to the outside and threw him into barricades around the ring. Dom got involved too, bouncing Danhausen’s headhausen off the announce tablehausen.

Back in the ring, McDonagh suplexed Danhausen and dropped elbows while Dom used the jersey to clean his shoes. Danhausen started to fight back, peppering McDonagh with punches until McDonagh landed a brainbuster.

McDonagh grabbed the jersey from Dom and wiped his butthausen with it. He then whiffed on a moonsault, giving Danhausen a chance to regain the jersey and put it on to the delight of the crowd. McDonagh went for some strikes, but Danhausen no-sold them and nailed a clothesline.

Dom came into the ring and Danhausen suplexed him. McDonagh snuck in and tried to steal one with a rollup. McDonagh went for a slam, but Danhausen countered it and laid out McDonagh. Then Dom attacked from behind. He and McDonagh stomped Danhausen into the mat.

McDonagh threw some headbutts with his “bison-sized head” then tore the jersey off of Danhausen. Danhausen rolled out of the rin and started walking up the ramp. Dom and McDonagh went under the ring to get a table and that brought out a trio of MiniHausens!

Dom and JD fended them off while Danhausen put a stuffed cat in the “cloning machine.” Dom and JD seemed to not notice this and threw an official Slim Jim table and a MiniHausen into the ring. McDonagh went to powerbomb the MiniHausen, but the Cloning Machine finished it’s work and who should come out? Carl Anthony Towns of the New York Knicks!

(C-A-T, get it?)

Danhausen and CAT came down to the ring and CAT Chokeslammed McDonagh while Dom watched. Then CAT chokeslamed Dom through the table. Danhausen grabbed McDonagh and hit him with a Triple D to win the match.

Match Result: Danhausen defeated JD McDonagh

-Lyra Valkyria was interviewed backstage looking reeaaallly sad. She said that she can’t stop thinking about Bayley and wants to get her out of her head. She then left and Cathy Kelley said that she is afraid Valkyria is out of her mind.

Celebrities like Jeff Ross, Lin-Manuel Miranda and Cooper DeJean were showed in the audience.

-Cathy Kelley then approached Bayley backstage. Bayley said that she tried to give Valkyria a chance, but now she’s going to end her before she even gets [her career] started.

Bayley vs. Lyra Valkyria

Bayley and Valkyria used to be tag team partners and friends, but after the pair failed to win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships from Brie Bella and Paige, Valkyrira turned on her Role Model. They’ve tried talking it out, but Valkyria wants none of the chat and all of the fighting. So tonight, they bury the hatchet.

Lyra went right for Bayley after the bell rang, but Bayley was able to fight her off. The two went at it aggressively, with Lyra moving the fight to the ouside and taking a stiff, stiff elbow form Bayley. Bayley kept throwing strikes causing Lyra to turtle. Bayley suplexed her on the floor as the Ref begged them to get back in the ring.

Lyra had a bleeding (possibly broken) nose from that strike and back in the ring, she workled Bayley’s arm over the ropes, trying to wrench it from the socket. She then pounded Bayley like it was the UFC until Bayley managed to send her tumbling out of the ring again.

The ref held Bayley back as Lyra was checked on, but Bayley managed a dive into her and roll her back into the ring. There was a significant pool of blood left behind.

Lyra didn’t give up the agression though, dropping knees and slamming Bayley in the middle of the ring. The two were wrestling, frankly, a little sloppily, but I think that was intentional to try and sell the intesity of the rivalry as well as Lyra’s injury.

Bayley put Lyra in a Boston Crab with no ropes in sight. Lyra slipped out of it and sent Bayley to the corner. Bayley regrouped and went up top. Lyra got there first though and hit a neckbreaker onto the turnbuckle. She then hit a guillotine leg drop from the top rope.

Bayley caught Lyra’s leg from a spin kick and sent her into the corner. She bounced Lyra’s face off the turnbuckle and then put on a crossface to exploit Lyra’s injury. Bayley broke the hold and Lyra lured her in to a top rope to the throat.

Lyra used a sling blade to get Bayley down and locked in a sleeper. Lyra bridged the hold to really put the pressure on and the ref declared the match over as Bayley (allegedy) passed out.

Match Result: Lyra Valkyria defeated Bayley

After the match, Lyra bounced Bayley’s head off the ringpost and put the choke hold back on. The Ref finally separated them and Lyra went to the steel stairs. She pushed the top one off and then set up Bayley for a Nightwing onto the steps. Lyra then exited while Bayley was attended to by officials.

-WWE then announced that next year when Wrestlemania is in Saudi Arabia, after the Wrestlemania shows are done each day, there will be AAA and NXT PLE’s that follow it live.

-Back from break, we had an interview with Cody and CM Punk. Rhodes brought up co-existing right away and said that yes, they would. Punk then chimed in saying that he wants a one-on-one match so that there’s no doubt when he beats Rhodes at Summerslam. Rhodes agreed then asked who gets to go out first? His music then hit, so the decision was made for them.

CM Punk & Cody Rhodes vs Gunther & Sami Zayn

Last night on Smackdown, Gunther and Rhodes tried to settle things one-on-one but Punk insisted on watching Rhodes’ back to protect his partner for tonight. As you can imagine this ended in a brawl, but prior to that, Acting GM Adam Pearce added some stakes to this match: if Gunther and Zayn win, the Undisputed WWE Title match at SummerSlam becomes a Fatal 4-Way with Punk, Rhodes, Gunther and Zayn.

Let the co-existence begin!

As soon as Zayn reached the ring, he and Punk started swinging. Gunther and Rhodes did the same and were pulled apart by the ref. Everyone settled into their corners and Rhodes took control of Zayn. He and Punk traded quick tags until Zayn sent Punk into the corner with Gunther who punched him and then tagged in.

Zayne distracted the ref while Gunther took Punk to the outside and dropped him spine-first over the barricade. Rhodes came around to help Punk back into the ring to avoid the count out. Zayn was legal so he started driving Punks head into the mat screaming “you stole it from me!”

Punk was busted open from his run in with Gunther and crawled over to tag Rhodes just as Zayn tagged in Gunther. Rhodes and Gunther are no strangers and Rhodes laid Gunther out with a disaster kick. Zayn tried to help but Rhodes hit him with a Cody cutter and sent him right back out.

Rhodes then hit a Cody Cutter on Gunther from the top rope, but could only get a two count. Rhodes went for Crossrhodes, but Gunther dodged it and tagged in Zayn. Zayn went for a blue thunder bomb, but as legally required, Rhodes kicked out at two.

Zayne whiffed on a Helluva kick and Rhodes tagged in Punk. Punk came off the top rope with a forearm and bulldog. The match was moving very fast with no letting up in sight.

Punk dropped an elbow from the top turnbuckle and locked in an Anaconda vise. Gunther tried to break it, but Cody cut him off and put him in a figure four. Gunther rolled the figure four, allowing him to eye-poke Punk as he broke the hold.

Zayn hit an exploder into the corner on Punk and geared up for another Helluva kick. He landed this one, but then Rhodes nailed Zayn with a Crossrhodes. Gunther then threw a lariat at Rhodes and went for Punk, who caught him looking with a GTS.

All four men were laid out in the ring in what was the first “rest” thusfar of the match.

Gunther got up and shoved Punk into Rhodes on the apron. Gunther then locked the Career Killer Sleeper on Punk. Punk mananged to stand and tried for a GTS, but Gunther got him in the hold again. This time he was too close to the corner though and Rhodes tagged in to Crossrhodes Gunther. Rhodes went for the pin, but Zayn flew in and broke up the pin.

In all the melee, the ref got bumped. Punk hit a GTS on Zayn and then he and Rhodes threw bombs at Gunther, two-on-one. Rhodes went for a Cody Cutter, but Gunther moved and he hit Punk. Gunther exited the ring and grabbed the WWE Title belt. He clocked Rhodes with it then powerbombed him.

Gunther went for the pin as another Ref ran into the ring. He started the count, but Nick Aldis appeared and pulled him out of the ring. Then Aldis clocked Gunther with the belt, allowing Punk to hit him with a GTS. Punk pulled Rhodes on top of Gunther and Aldis sent the ref back in to count 1-2-3 and give Punk and Rhodes their one on one match at Summerslam.

Match Result: CM Punk & Cody Rhodes defeated Gunther & Sami Zayn

After the match, Rhodes handed Punk back his belt and they celebrated in the ring.

So, all that happened and it was 9:40pm, leaving me wondering why the Main Event of Saturday Night’s Main Event wasn’t actually the Main Event, and what the last 20 minutes of the show would be.

Joe Tessitore and Stephanie McMahon joined us again to recap everything we just saw. They ran down the SummerSlam card and tee’d up Roman Reigns and Jalen Brunson appearing next for an… interview? Pose down? One-on-one game of horse? No idea, and no idea why it’s closing the show.

At 9:50, Barrett and Cole introduced a video package about Jalen Brunson being the “King of New York.” The Blimphausen was flown over the ring, rebranded with a “Congrats to the Knicks” message. Brunson was introduced at 9:53, wearing an OTC 11 shirt (because he wears #11 you see). He walked through the back slapping hands while a highlight reel played.

Roman Reigns met him at the Gorilla position and Roman’s music played. It was 9:55.

They both sauntered out of the entrance and put their fingers to the sky. They made it to the ring at 9:58 and pointed to the sky again.

Then they entered the ring, pointed again and fireworks went off. 9:59.

They walked around the ring and Roman grabbed a mic. 10:00 on the dot. So its’ possible that the broadcast feed may have ended, but the stream (I was watching on Youtube) continued.

Roman asked the question on everyone’s mind: What are they doing out there right now?

He said that this is where Greatness acknowledges Greatness. It’s no secret that NYC is the home of WWE and 53 years was way too long for the Knicks to go without a championship. Roman listed Brunson’s accomplishments and nicknames and gave Brunson a Knicks themed WWE Heavyweight Championship belt with custom side plates.

Roman then told the crowd to “acknowledge us.” They did, and then Seth Rollins’ music hit. But instead of Seth, Tyrese Haliburton came out instead, carrying a chair. That let Rollins jump Roman from behind. Haliburton handed Rollins the chair and Rollins went to Curb Stomp Reigns on the chair, but Brunson got between them.

That allowed Reigns to recover and Superman punch Seth, followed by a Spear. Haliburton and Seth retreated and someone slid the NBA Championship Trophy into the ring and Reigns and Brunson posed with it and their belts.

Roman’s music played as the show came to a close, and I can only presume that this is all leading to a tag match with all four men at Bash At The Beach.

What a weird ending to an otherwise pretty decent show.