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AEW Dark results: Kenny Omega vs. Kip Sabian

The Big News --

After defeating Kip Sabian in the main event, Kenny Omega is now on a three-match winning streak.

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AEW Tag Team Champion Scorpio Sky defeated Jimmy Havoc and Peter Avalon (w/ Leva Bates)

Chuck Taylor and the verbose Orange Cassidy joined Excalibur at the announce desk to kick off the show this week.

Avalon dissed the crowd, which caused Bates to declare “How rude” and apologize for her fellow Librarian. Havoc is recovering from paying $20,000 in fines the last few weeks. He began the match by looking for some sort of weapon, but he was foiled.

Since he shouldn't use a stapler, Havoc bit the calf of Sky before accidentally working together with Avalon to put the boots to him. That friendship shockingly didn't last long, as Avalon turned on Havoc, which did not end well for him. Sky used a belly-to-belly overhead suplex on Avalon onto Havoc outside the ring and then hit a tope onto both.

Havoc finally found his staple gun, but Avalon tried to save him money by not allowing him to use it on Sky. Sky showed his appreciation by pinning Avalon after a TKO.

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We got a replay of the most recent Dark Order video. They segued into a recap of last week's segment where they set up Chris Jericho vs. Jungle Boy for December 18.

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Jurassic Express (Marko Stunt & Luchasaurus w/ Jungle Boy) defeated John Silver & Alex Reynolds

They actually gave Silver and Reynolds a full entrance with theme music. Typically they are already in the ring. Chucky T tagged out and Dr. Britt Baker made the hot tag to take over the color commentator position. Baker mentioned that she loves Jungle Boy, which led to an inside comment about Baker's boyfriend.

Stunt went into this match at 0-6 and Luchasaurus wasn't much better at 1-3, so something had to give in this battle with the winless Silver and Reynolds. Baker had spoken to Luchasaurus earlier today, who said that he's been alive for 64 million years and once upon a time he was short like Stunt, so it's just a matter of getting a growth spurt.

Reynolds and Silver got the heat on Stunt when Reynolds yanked Stunt down by his hair. Silver and Reynolds are a solid, yet unspectacular team. They are almost the perfect enhancement team for the company, but at some point they should get a few wins just so they get a modicum of credibility.

Stunt fought forever for the tag and the crowd did pop for the big hot tag. Luchasaurus ran wild on the heels, and Stunt got his first win with a double-team cutter on Reynolds. Jungle Boy, who wasn't in the match, is still at 0-8.

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We were magically whisked away to the AEW Control Center where new AEW broadcaster Lexy Nair recapped everything involving the women's division from last week's Dynamite. Nair is a makeup artist and DDP Yoga instructor.

They showed everything with Nyla Rose that happened during the commercial break last week. Excalibur announced that Baker, who was sitting ringside, was Adam Cole's girlfriend, which was really funny.

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We got a closer look at Big Swole. She said that just means she has a big personality. She talked about how she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and was on the verge of death until emergency surgery where they had to remove two feet of her intestines.

Due to this disease and surgery she was told she's not able to have kids, which led to her spiraling out of control. Despite that, her and her husband Cedric Alexander did in fact have a son together. They also showed Kenny Omega offering her an AEW contract after a match.

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The new AEW Women's rankings are:

  1. Hikaru Shida (despite her loss to Kris Statlander last week)
  2. Nyla Rose (despite being suspended until 2020)
  3. Emi Sakura
  4. Dr. Britt Baker
  5. Kris Statlander

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Christopher Daniels was being checked out by the doctor last week when Alex Marvez ran in to ask him if he's alright after taking another piledriver from Pentagon Jr. Daniels was pissed and swore at Marvez. He knew he was coming back early, but he wasn't in the right mindset to beat someone as good as Pentagon.

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A recap of the introduction of The Butcher, The Blade & The Bunny aired, which segued into a Cody interview recap. I'm still amazed that no one even tried to rip that $100 out of the kid's hand that Cody gave the money to.

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We got an MJF interview where he said he had money and with that was able to buy the assistance of Butcher, Blade & Bunny. MJF said Cody has no friends, which is why Cody has to have others pick his partners for him. He called Cody champ, before pointing out that due to him Cody will never be champ. Not entirely accurate.

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We then got a video package building up tomorrow's Texas street fight with Young Bucks vs. Proud & Powerful.

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A new commercial for A Little Bit of the Bubbly aired. Chris Jericho encouraged everyone who buys it to post a video of them drinking it on Twitter and Instagram.

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Kenny Omega defeated Kip Sabian (w/ Penelope Ford)

No lie, a minimum of 20 minutes passed since the last match. Chuck Taylor rejoined Excalibur. Orange Cassidy wouldn't shut up in the first match, so he wasn't invited back. Sabian is obsessed with defeating The Elite. Problem is he has been unsuccessful in that quest.

Omega and Sabian worked well together and Sabian was looking good until Omega lit him up with a series of chops. Ford jumped up on the apron to distract Omega, which did the trick. Sabian used a hurricanrana inside the ring, which led to Omega rolling outside, where Ford gave him a hurricanrana too.

Taylor said that -- between the look on his face and his accent -- Sabian comes off like a real turd of a person. Omega came back and used the Polish Hammer.

Sabian fought out of a Dragon suplex. He hit a dropkick to the shoulder, but got caught on a springboard move by Omega and dropped with a powerbomb. Omega hit a V-Trigger and went for a second one, but Sabian pulled referee Aubrey Edwards in the way. Somehow Edwards missed Ford hitting a stunner on Omega after a series where both men almost hit her.

Sabian got a near fall with a poison rana and a PK. Omega finally hit a Dragon suplex. Ford ran in yet again and almost got her own Dragon suplex, but Omega thought better of it. Finally, Omega hit yet another V-Trigger and got the win with a One Winged Angel.

Omega took the mic, but we never heard what he said, as we were sent back to Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez, who signed off.

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Final Thoughts --

Nothing bad this week. The crowd was more up for the whole show than they had been in prior weeks. My only complaint would be that they could have cut out everything except the Big Swole video package and Daniels interview between the last two matches and we would have missed nothing.