Kaitlyn on emotional and mental struggles during WWE run: ‘I was an absolute mess’
Kaitlyn disclosed the mental and emotional struggles she went through during her WWE run, and how she overcame them.
Speaking with TMZ’s Inside The Ring, Kaitlyn opened up on the decision that led to her WWE exit in 2014. She requested for the release after feeling the pressure of the business and its impact on her while she was still young at the age of 23.
“When I left, I had signed my second contract when I had the title in 2013 and I ended up asking for my release with still two years left on my contract. And it’s because I was struggling, I was folding under the pressure of show business and the adrenaline and the emotional roller coaster and also that lifestyle, especially the way it was back then was very difficult to have real relationships like intimate relationships.”
“I was there from when I was 23 to when I was 27, I didn’t have tools to process what I was going through and I didn’t know how to talk about it. So essentially it kind of built to this point in my life where I was struggling mentally, physically, I was gaining weight, emotionally, I was a mess. And I knew that I couldn’t sustain that. Like my life was reflecting to me like ‘hey you need to figure this out, you need to make some changes’. And I didn’t feel like I could do that while I was living that lifestyle. And I was also, I had lost a lot of confidence in myself and I didn’t want to get released and so I left and I was a mess. I was an absolute mess. Didn’t have a plan.”
She always had plans to create a new identity and brand for herself post WWE. Kaitlyn admitted that leaving the company left her grappling with feelings of regret and self-doubt, as she believed she had not fully capitalized on the opportunities provided.
“I knew I wanted to try to build some sort of business and kind of create a new identity for myself outside of the character of Kaitlyn. And it was so difficult because I had this really deep feeling that was my opportunity, that was my chance, that I’m never going to do anything as great as that again. And I blew it, like I could have had such a big impact, a much bigger impact. I didn’t know and I struggled with this idea that I didn’t know who I was when I was there. So I didn’t have the ability to have a true message, right? And so for a long time I felt like a failure which is crazy to a lot of people but it’s just how I felt like I could have done so much more with that opportunity and that spotlight on a global stage.”
Rosanne Raphael is a wrestling writer with over three and a half years of experience covering all things related to the industry. From a kindergarten teacher to PR Associate to turning her lifelong passion for the industry into a career, Rosanne is currently writing for F4W Online where she focuses on wrestling news, analysis, and storytelling.
Rosanne previously contributed to Sportskeeda as an Assistant Content Manager.
When not consumed by wrestling, Rosanne is a musician and an aspiring artist.