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AEW Dark results: Joey Janela vs. Shawn Spears

The Big News --

Proud & Powerful continued their quest to become the top contending team to SCU's AEW Tag Team titles.

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It is the last AEW show for the entire year, so since I won't see y'all until January 7, let's get this out of the way. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus, Happy New Year and safe travels to Tokyo for anyone going to Wrestle Kingdom!

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Sammy Guevara defeated Brandon Cutler

They may call him a Spanish God, but Guevara is winless in singles competition going into this match. Cutler has won zero total matches, so something has to give here. Colt Cabana joined Excalibur behind the desk this week.

Guevara got the early advantage and lounged on the mat to mock Cutler, so when Cutler reversed momentum and knocked down Guevara, Cutler lounged on the mat to mock him.

Cutler and Guevara traded topes and suicide dives. They fought onto the apron, which is the hardest part of the ring, and Guevara hit a double foot stomp to a standing Cutler.

Guevara got some cheap heat by taking the mic and saying he doesn't care about anyone in the arena. He set Cutler up for a big move from the top rope. However, Guevara saw that's what the fans wanted, so he jumped down and slapped on a headlock.

Guevara hit a hook kick and a springboard cutter before hitting a Shooting Star Press. We almost had a Ted DiBiase-PJ Walker finish, as Cutler crucifixed a cocky Guevara, but Guevara kicked out. Finally, the Spanish God got serious and picked up his first singles win with a fireman's carry into a knee strike to the back of Cutler's head.

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Jenn Decker interviewed Joey Janela. Janela said tonight it's going down and he's yelling timber. He told Shawn Spears he won't remember tonight and the Bad Boy will be the one he won't forget.

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Proud & Powerful defeated Private Party, The Hybrid 2, and Best Friends in a four-way tag match

How long will it take for this match to break down into a crazy eight-way free for all? Jack Evans was not taking this match seriously at the start, which might help explain why TH2 has yet to win a two-man team match. He started taking it more seriously when Best Friends had their way with him.

Four minutes into the match we got our answer as to how long it would take before the match broke down. Referee Bryce Remsburg made faces like there was nothing he could do. I shouldn't bother pointing out that he could throw the match out if he's lost control.

Everyone just kind of stopped and resumed their previously scheduled tag team match. Remsburg was allowing tags that he physically wouldn't be able to see even if I suspend my disbelief. Santana and Ortiz pulled up Isiah Kassidy's jersey and took turns raking his back, which led to everyone chanting Eddie Guerrero's name when Santana did two consecutive suplexes.

Jack Evans got big heat by ripping Marq Quen off the corner, not allowing Kassidy to make the tag and actually causing him to tag in Chuck Taylor. Tags became optional at this point as you just ran in and hit moves at your leisure while the referee pointed his hand at you.

Santana and Ortiz went under the table to get some plunder and Orange Cassidy was just lounging on the conveniently placed ladder under the ring. They shoved the ladder back under. Best Friends did the Rainmaker Hug before doing a pair of topes, which was followed by an Asai moonsault by Jack Evans.

TH2 decided to attack Cassidy, so they pulled out the ladder...and Cassidy had disappeared. Cassidy came out and did a dive to TH2 while they stood befuddled outside the ring. Finally, Ortiz ran around the ring and hit everyone with his sock with the baseballs in it and in the ring they pinned Kassidy with the Street Sweeper.

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Decker did a live in-arena interview with PAC next. PAC dragged out Michael Nakazawa, who he has apparently been beating up for the last six days. In actuality, they do acknowledge that Dark is taped the same night as Dynamite and are openly saying PAC has “only” been beating him up for two hours.

PAC put a chair around Nakazawa's neck and gave Kenny Omega his final warning to give PAC his rubber match. PAC jumped off the ropes and landed just in front of Nakazawa as a statement to Omega.

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Joey Janela defeated Shawn Spears (w/ Tully Blanchard)

First Shawn Spears and then MJF -- who is the next friend to turn on Cody? We'll find out eventually, but as for now Spears took the mic and said this is the last AEW match of 2019. He asked who was in the holiday spirit and the crowd didn't know how to react.

Spears turned to a child and was about to tell him something that his parents told him a long time ago. His mom covered his ears and Spears seemed about to claim Santa wasn't real when Santa Claus came out!

Santa gave the kid a high five and it was time for some pro wrestling. Spears attacked Santa at the bell, which seems to indicate he'll be on the naughty list. Spears knocked off Santa's hair and beard and...OH MY GOD IT'S JOEY JANELA! NO ONE SAW THIS COMING!

Janela did a suicide dive in full Santa gear as Colt Cabana tried to list all of Santa's reindeer. Spears went for a chop, but Janela ducked and Spears laid a hard chop into the ring post.

Spears shook off the hand injury, laid out Janela, and went to the top rope for a move, but Janela rolled away. Spears ran to the other corner and went for it, but again Janela rolled away. Spears tried a third time and got the same result, so he gave up.

Janela ran and jumped off a chair onto Spears in the crowd before asking women to DM him. Janela found a man dressed as Jesus Christ in the crowd and brought him out for a brief second. I guess there is no separation between church and wrestling.

Spears and Tully Blanchard went for the spike piledriver, but Janela shoved Spears into the steps. Jesus continued to steal the show and encouraged Janela to not turn the other cheek and instead punch Tully. Spears did not allow Janela to beat up a 65-year-old man, so the match continued. Janela actually won with a top rope elbow drop.

Janela offered Spears a post-match beverage, but instead gave Spears a Stone Cold Stunner. Well if you're gonna rip off someone, you may as well rip off the biggest star of the last 25 years. Things ended there and nothing else that may or may not have happened afterwards aired.

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The show ended with Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez promising to have a Best Of episode next week on AEW Dark. Anyhoo, that does it for this week. Take care!